Rendered Speechless
by sospecial21
Summary: Bella has a son Masen and she also happens to be the manager of her childhood friend's band, The twilight Saga. Edward Cullen the lead singer is the man she as always loved, but never told. Many secrets lurk and love unreciproicated. ALL HUMAN
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this would be my fourth story. I needed a little break from what I have been writing because well, sometimes things need to simmer, but i will continue on with them all I swear. This is a story line that's been stuck in my head for a long time and i wanted to put it out there. I'm unbeta'ed. Also why do people send you an inbox message to read their story if they never bothered to read mine? I will never understand the logic behind that. I have tried to correct any errors I see, hope you like it reviews are lovely!**

**CHAPTER 1**

It was a big night. We had a sold out stadium in Toronto Canada, packed with thousands of screaming fans. I wish the screaming fans could drown out the screams coming from a certain dressing room of a certain band member. But that would be too much to ask for, wouldn't it?

Emmett and Jasper were already on the stage preparing their instruments, but Edward could not been seen, but definitely heard. Just stick something in my eardrums now I pleaded internally. Begrudgingly, I knocked on the dressing room door.

"YES EDWARD YES JUST LIKE THAT" You could hear Tanya's screams from the other side of the door

I cringed just thinking about what was going on in there. I knocked again, hoping this time someone would answer me.

"Fuck Edward I'm going to come!" She screeched and I wanted to vomit

"Edward, get the hell out here. The show is going to start in less than five minutes and I haven't even got to look you over." I yelled through the door

"I'm coming Bella, just give me a minute." He groaned back

I rolled my eyes. Yea he would be coming alright, but not in the sense that made me comfortable. I walked away toward Emmett.

"Can you get him out of there. I'm not in the mood for his bullshit tonight." I growled at Emmett

"I'm on it B." Emmett winked at me and began to bang on the dressing room door

"You really should cut him a break. It's been what? 24 hours since he last saw her." Jasper joked

I gave him the look of death while he gave me an innocent smile.

"Oh baby come here." Jasper tried to grab me, but I playfully pushed him away

"I'm just tired Jazz. I haven't slept in days." I grumbled

"Well after this concert, we are free for a week. We could go to Jacksonville and visit your folks. I know Masen would love that." He grabbed my face between his hands and kissed my forehead.

I instantly relaxed from the notion. Jasper always seemed to have a calming effect on me.

"I love you, you know that right?" I looked up at the handsome blonde

"I know." He winked and walked away

I sighed and looked through the pages on my clipboard for the ninetieth time. I knew everything would go fine, it always did. It had been almost a month since we had a break and I just missed real life. Living on a tour bus isn't the dream it seems to be, but at least I got to do it with the men I loved, especially Masen.

My sweet, sweet Masen. His birthday was tomorrow and Jasper and Emmett had planned a nice day out for him, just the guys. He was with Rose tonight. She mentioned something about bowling, that actually sounded pretty terrific, too bad I was stuck here.

Rustling behind me, brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see a cheesy smile planted across Edward Cullen's face. I rolled my eyes just knowing how it got there.

"You do this to me all the time, I'm going to start banning her from backstage." I warned

"You been saying that for like the last year and still here she is." He laughed

"Don't play with me tonight Cullen, I'm still pissed at you." I poked him in the chest

"How can you be pissed at me, I told you, it wasn't my idea. It was all Masen." He played innocent

"Are you kidding me? He's 6 years old! You're 25! Please explain how my 6 year old son convinced you to steal my bra and hang it on the antenna of the tour bus. Sometimes I wonder who is more mature." I threw my hands in the air in frustration

"Its all in fun, how about I use my boxers next time?" He smiled hitting my chin with his finger

"Get on the stage." I pushed him toward the opening

"I bet you want me to get on more than that." He wagged his eyebrows

"Edward, I swear, if you don't get away from me right now..." I gave him my no nonsense stare

"I'm going , I'm going." He fiend surrender

Once he was on stage in front of his mic I knew I could relax. I leaned against the wall and blew out a sigh of relief. Strolling over to me was none other than Tanya aka slut aka groupie aka Edward's fiancee.

She was the bitch of the worst kind. How Edward found anything appealing about her, I was clueless. Her constant attitude toward everyone was starting to really piss me off.

"Sorry I kept him from you." She said smugly

"No you're not." I glared at her

"Yea, you're right, I'm not." She gave an evil laugh

"Doesn't his career mean anything to you or is it just that hard to keep your legs closed?" I mocked at her

"His career is important to me, that's why I make sure he thoroughly fucked before every show." She wrinkled her nose at me

"I really don't know what he sees in you." I muttered under my breath

"Like wise." She said sarcastically swaying her hips away from me.

_If you only knew  
I'm hanging by a thread  
The web I spin for you  
If you only knew  
I'd sacrifice my beating  
Heart before I lose you  
I still hold onto the letters  
You returned  
I swear I've lived and learned_

The words echoed across the stadium. Edward's voice making women swoon all over the place. I had to admit, he could sing and it was always one of the things that drew me to him. His silky tone matched with sexy looks. God I need to get a grip!

We had known each other since we were 12 years old living in Forks Washington. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Edward, and me had all been friends for so long growing up in a small town with big town dreams. Edward was the lead singer, while Jasper was the bass guitarist, Emmett the drummer, and James their keyboardist. They called themselves The Twilight Saga.

We got our big break in the summer of 2006, when the guys were playing an event for charity, which happened to be for a huge producer and he loved their style and had them signing a contract the following week. I had been their manager from the start. Later on we would meet Alice, who we haven't been able to lose since.

Alice was the band's Representative and Jasper's girlfriend. Not to mention one of my best friends. She was amazing in every sense, we would be lost without her. However Tanya would be like the enigma that just wouldn't go away. Fortunately for me, she would not be heading back with us, she had a flight to catch. Yes Tanya. She was a singer also, not as big as Edward and the guys, but her career was taking off.

The guys wrapped up their second set and said goodnight to Toronto. After all equipment was cleaned up and everyone was on the bus, it was time to head to the hotel and relax. We had nonstop gigs for the last month and a little rest was well needed.

"Mommy!" Screeched my son who was running full speed into me

"Masen, what are you still doing up?" I laughed wrapping my arms around his small body

"I missed you so much, I wanted to wait for you to come back." He gave me a heart clenching smile

"I missed you too baby, now off to bed with you. Where you good for auntie Rose?" I asked as he climbed into his bed.

"Yes I was a good boy. Tomorrow is my birthday Edward promised he would buy me a really big gift." He yawned as I tucked him in

"Did he now?" I kissed his forehead

"Yup. Edward is my best friend mommy." He looked at me with big brownish green eyes

"I know Masen, now close your eyes and go to bed." I smoothed my hand over his cheek and he nodded

I closed the adjoining door to my suite and plopped down on the couch next to Rose who was half asleep herself.

"Thanks for entertaining him for me." I sighed leaning my head against the soft cushions

"He's my godson its the least I can do." She smiled sitting up

"You should go see Emmett, I know he is dying to see you." I laughed holding the bridge of my nose.

"Of course he is." She smirked, trying to gain her balance getting off the couch.

"That belly is getting bigger and bigger, watch out where you put that thing." I teased my 7 month pregnant friend

"Yea that's what I tell my damn husband, but does he listen? No, he thinks we need to fuck as much as possible before the baby comes. I could kick his ass. He lucky he is so hot." She giggled

"Rose, that's my brother you are talking about, its gross." I made a face and she stuck out her tongue.

"Was Tanya there?" She looked at me with disgust

"Unfortunately and she made her presence known." I let out a ragged breath

"It should have been you Bells" Rose gave me that please confess your undying love look

"No, it shouldn't have. Things are the way they are. Just drop it okay." I said firmly

"Whatever." She mocked and walked out of the hotel room.

Giving thought to a relationship with Edward was like giving thought to cutting your own hair. You want to do it, but you know it will turn out terrible. Not that he was a bad guy, he just was a lead singer for a band and I had no intentions of being his groupie. Oh did I mention he's engaged?

I flopped back on the couch trying to get comfortable. It was too far to my bed and I just needed to relax for a minute. Barely three minutes later there was a tapping on my door. I groaned and pulled myself off the couch. Maybe Rose forgot something.

I looked through the peep hole to see a head of bronze hair looking awkward standing in the hall way. I flung the door open and Edward greeted me with a smile.

"Hey I was just wondering if Masen was still awake." He stood there with his hands in his pockets

"I just tucked him in."

"Oh, that's too bad." He nodded

"Do you want to come in?" I gestured with my hand

"Um sure, why not." He strolled into the suite

"I was about to get ready for bed, but if you want to hang out for a minute that's okay too." I bit my lip

"I don't want to intrude on your beauty sleep Bella I really just wanted to see Masen before I went to bed." Edward shifted his feet on the floor

"Well you know where his room is." I motioned my hand toward the closed door

He nodded and proceeded to open the door. I walked into my room and began to change for bed. Edward and Masen were like two peas in a pod, always together, always doing something incredibly immature. From a six year old its expected, but from Edward? Well he really wasn't my problem anymore.

After changing into something more comfortable, I fell onto my bed and drifted off to sleep. Something woke me up and I chanced a look at the clock, it was 4:12am. I decided to go check on my son and saw the most amazing site ever. Edward was sound asleep holding Masen in his arms

Not this this was anything new. Anytime Tanya was gone, I found Edward in bed with my son, but not in a perverted kind of way. It was sweet, like he belonged with us, with him.. That thought was dismissed immediately.

I kissed them both on the forehead and closed the door to the room. I scurried back to my own room and fell back into a wondrous sleep. I was awoken by a small child jumping on my bed giggling.

"Mommy! Mommy! Do you know what day it is!" Masen screamed excitedly

"Um, no I have no idea." I fend innocence

"Its March 15! I'm 7 years old today!" He jumped higher giggling

"Oh I completely forgot!" I smacked my forehead

He stopped jumping and crawled into my lap, holding my face between his hands.

"Not uh, you didn't forget, you are being silly mommy!" He gave me a big toothy grin

"Am I?" I grabbed him and tickled him

He squirmed and laughed the entire time and I looked up at the door way to see a smiling Edward, leaning casual in a pair of blue jeans and a tee shirt. God that looked good on him.

"I got a big surprise for you." I smiled at my son.

"Really? What is it!" He screeched

"Go in the closet, you will see." I smacked his bottom has he jumped off the bed

He pulled the large wrapped package from the closet with help of Edward and he dragged it to the bed, sitting in my lap. Edward sat beside our feet.

"This is huge mommy, what is it?" Masen looked up at me

"Open it." I grinned

He gave me a quick grin and tore open the gift. It was a wrestling ring he had saw on television that he had been asking for, for months.

"This is so cool, thank you!" He turned and enveloper me in a huge hug.

"You're welcome baby." I smiled happily at him

"Edward will you play with me?" He looked up at Edward with his big eyes

"You know it dude." Edward smirked ruffling up Masen's hair

"Let's go!" Masen jumped off the bed, handing the package to Edward

Edward shook his head and got off the bed holding the package into the other room. They spent most of the morning playing with the wrestling ring on the floor of the suite. I spent the morning cleaning and packing up our things. We were leaving tomorrow for Florida to spend time with my parents who had retired down there.

Around noon Jasper and Emmett came to take Masen out for the day, to do men things. Edward joined them. I however spent the afternoon with my girls, Rose and Alice.

We were sitting in the spa downstairs in the hotel having our toes painted and nails done.

"I'm so thankful we are finally getting downtime, even if its only a week." Alice sighed in her chair

"Me too, being pregnant and on a tour bus cramps my style." Rose sighed

"My parents will be thrilled to have their grand child back." I laughed

"Poor Masen, this must be rough on him." Alice let out a deep sigh

"I feel like the world's worst mother sometimes. Who does that to their kid?" I shook my head

"Bella." Rose touched my hand "You are doing an amazing job with that boy, don't ever think you aren't." She gave me a thoughtful look

"Maybe I should just leave him in Florida, let him go to school like a normal kid and have friends to play with. I'm taking so much away so I can live out my dreams, but what about his?" I could feel the tears building in my eyes

"Listen to me." Rose said in her stern voice

"You spend every moment with him that you can and you don't leave the parenting to someone else. You are involved full time with that kid and believe me, he will thank you for it later. Plus you have all of us to help you. Even better he will have a little cousin soon that he can bond with." Rose winked and leaned back into her chair

"I suppose your right." I huffed

"Are you ever going to tell him?" Rose leaned to the side looking at me

"Seven years as passed since then, why tell him now? It will only complicate things." I looked up at the ceiling

"I think he deserves to know. Wouldn't you want to know if you were in his position?" Alice chimed in

"In his position?" I mocked sarcastically

"He is at the prime of his life right now, a kid would only complicate stuff." I crossed my arms over my chest

"Or maybe it would make them better?' Rose chastised

"I'll think about it." I shooed the girl who was painting my toes and stood up

"Where are you going?" Alice asked

"I need to clear my head." I waddled off

I slipped on the flip flops they provided and went to head back to my room when I noticed a magazine stand. On the cover was a picture of Edward and Tanya kissing passionately. It must have been taken in Vancouver last week. Seeing them in person was torturous enough, but to see it plastered over every magazine, well lets say if a heart could break in a million pieces mine just did.

I moved quickly to the elevator and hit the button for my floor. Once I was in the safety of my suite, I climbed on my bed and cried. How was it after all these years Edward Cullen still got to me? My weeping turned into snoring and the next thing I knew it was time to get ready for Masen's birthday party.

Jasper promised to keep him occupied while we made sure all the arrangements were made for the small party. We had rented out the hall of the hotel in a wrestling theme and even got John Cena, Masen's favorite Wrestler to make an appearance. It also didn't hurt that Alice knew his publishest.

A lot of the roadies and member of the crew had kids of their own and we invited them all considering Masen was friends with a lot of them. A lot of people bring their families with them, surprisingly. Everyone was having a great time running around with championship belts on. Alice even was able to get a wrestling ring put in.

"This turned out great Bella, you amaze me as always." Edward said coming to stand next to me as I leaned against the wall with a drink in my hand watching the kids play.

"Thanks, Alice gets most of the credit. She is the one who is great under pressure." I laughed

"Yes she is. But she doesn't get the credit for your perfect little guy. That's all you." He rubbed my shoulder

For a minute I felt I could confess my sins and all would be forgiven. That this man by my side loved me.

"It's really messed up his asshole father couldn't be here." Edward gritted his teeth

Suddenly guilt wept over me.

"Its not important, he as all of you." I tried to sound even toned

"Every little boy needs his father Bella or even a father in some cases. Its been too long since you dated, maybe you need to get back out there. James seems to like you." Edward suggested

I wanted to tear his eyes out at the moment. How dare he suggest such a thing? Did he not know my feelings for him? Well apparently he didn't because I never bothered to express them. I huffed and walked away without another word.

_James? Did he really just suggest James?_ Of all people I would never date it had to be him. He was the world's biggest womanizer. He was good looking blonde hair hazel eyes, toned body. Yes definitely good looking, but not the type of guy I could fall for. No nobody seemed good enough, not better than Edward, but that was a ship sailing off the coast. He's engaged to that irate blonde bitch.

_Deep breathes now, deep breathes_. I walked over to where Emmett was sitting with Rose and took a seat opposite of them.

"You enjoying yourself?" Rose asked sipping her soda.

"Just as much as going to the dentist." I gritted

"Oh boy, that's my cue." Emmett stood and walked away

"What happened?" Rose sipped through her straw

"He actually suggested I date James." I threw my hands up in the air slumping back

"Did he now?" Rose sly voice commented

"I just don't get him sometimes, I mean seriously, I'm like totally into him and he's so so..." I couldn't even finish my thought

"Clueless?" Rose interjected

"Yes." I sighed in defeat

"The only way he is ever going to know is if you open up and tell him, other wise, clueless he will always be. Are you going to wait until he is walking bitchily down the aisle before you confess your love to him?" She pointed her finger at me

"Rose, I mean, he's happy with her. Believe me I've heard how happy she makes him." I rolled my eyes

"But I bet you could actually make him happier. He loves Masen Bella, he is fantastic with him. Plus.." She lazily gestured her fingers in the air

"No Rose, no." I stomped my foot on the floor

"Time to cut the cake!" Masen jumped infront of me breaking my conversation, but I was more than welcoming the distraction.

I stood and he dragged me over to where the cake was, placing himself in the chair infront of it so he was eye level. There were eight candles glowing on the cake.

"Okay everyone on the count of three" Alice said sweetly

"Wait!" Masen put his little hands in the air and searched the room

"What's wrong baby?" I asked looking concerned at my son

"Where's Edward, he needs to be here too." Masen scrunched up his little eyes searching the crowd

"I'm here buddy." Edward came from behind us, placing his hand on my shoulder and his other arm around Masen's waist to steady him.

"Okay Auntie Ali, go for it!" Masen pointed his finger at her

She winked and smiled at me and everyone began to sing. Then it was Masen's turned to blow out the candles.

"What did you wish for?" Alice asked kneeling infront of him when Edward lowered him from the chair

"I can't tell you or it won't come true silly woman." He shook his head and took his piece of cake

"Kids." Alice giggled walking away

After the party was over, Edward carried Masen up to the room and laid his unconscious body in his bed. I watched them through the crack of the door as Edward patted his cheek. Masen stirred and grabbed Edward's hand, opening his eyes.

"I had a great birthday Edward." He smiled sleepily at him

"I'm glad little buddy and tomorrow you get to see grandma and grandpa." Edward cooed

"You know what I wished for?" Masen looked up at Edward

"What?" Edward asked

"That you could be my daddy."

I gasped and Edward turned his head to see me standing in the crack. I quickly moved to my bedroom and closed the door. I once again collapsed on the bed in tears...

**Thoughts? Suggestions? This will not be a long story, but I kind of loved the idea, let me know what you think... Also I stole lyrics from Shine down, if you only knew. I will steal a lot of people's songs lol for my little band, but I will always give credit to those who deserve it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**It snowed a lot in New Jersey Sunday night, so I been stuck in my house lol because they deem it unsafe to leave, tomorrow hopefully I can go back into the real world, which I miss so much because now I'm just getting stir crazy! Unedited, enjoy! Thanks for the reviews and alerts, makes a girl smile! I did go to work today lol I love reviews!**

**Chapter 2**

I was looking out the back door of my parents house watching the tide on the beach. It was a beautiful morning, definitely going to be hot. Masen and my dad had gone for a walk on the beach to collect seashells, while Renee, my mother sat at the kitchen table drinking her coffee staring contently at me.

"Have you spoken to him since?" Renee asked over her coffee mug

"No, I figured it would be too awkward for everyone involved." I huffed watching a seagull peck at the sand.

"Well Bella, you are going to have to talk to him some time before you go back on tour, you know?" Renee tilted her eyes at me

"Thank you for the reminder mother." I said sarcastically taking a seat opposite of her

"You know how much I want you to be happy."

"Yes mom I know and thank you ,but I'm a big girl, I think I can handle this." I gave her a fake smile

"Sure sure. Where's your brother this morning? He promised he would take me shopping. I haven't seen an inch of him since you guys got here." Renee looked around the house

"He has a pregnant wife you know. Probably tending to her." I tried to make it obvious

"Mm, I suppose your right." She sighed finishing up her coffee and placing her cup in the sink.

"You should get out tonight, have fun with your friends." She touched my shoulder as she walked out of the room.

Always like Renee to think of the fun instead of the important. I picked up my disguarded phone I threw on the table when I walked in and looked through my missed calls. 14 missed calls and 10 were from Edward alone. I hit the delete to clear the history and scanned the contacts for Alice's number.

Yes mom was right, I did need a little fun. So I texted Alice informing her we were indeed going out tonight. She texted back almost instantly with a happy face. I rolled my eyes with a smile of my own.

"Morning Bells, you're looking chipper." Charlie's husky voice echoed from the back porch.

"Morning dad. How was your walk?" I asked has he squeezed my hand

"Masen got a lot of good shells, he is excited to show you them." He smiled as my tiny son wobbled into the back

"Hey mommy, I got a pretty one for you, its pink." Masen held up a huge pink shell

"Thank you baby its beautiful." I kissed his forehead as he handed me the shell.

"I'm going to put it with the others." He stole it from me and ran off to his room

"That kid has some energy I tell you. If you could only bottle it up." Charlie chuckled while taking a seat opposite of me

"He loves spending time here." I added

"I love having him here, anytime." Charlie nodded his head toward me

"Dad, we are not having this conversation again. I want him with me." I pointed

"I know, I know, but I can't hope you might change your mind." He hit my nose with his finger

"Doubtful." I laughed getting up heading toward my room.

After bathing Masen and redressing him, Alice came by so we could "Shop" for new outfits for tonight. Masen stayed with my parents while we went to a bunch of stores.

"I like that one on you." Alice gave a thumbs up on my outfit

"You don't think its too revealing?" I looked at my reflection in the mirror

I was wearing a brown dress with glitter stripes in the middle that was like a halter at the top. It v-ed at the neck, revealing a lot of cleavage . There was gold medallion in the middle of the breast line, really emphasis my not so there breasts. I looked like a sexy vixen, definitely the opposite of my normal attire.

"Bella, you look hot. At least hot enough to get some gorgeous man to buy you a drink." She winked

"Alice please." I gawked at my reflection a little longer

"Bella, you are beautiful, any man who doesn't see it, well he's blind." Alice was smug and to the point

"Thank you, you a great best friend." I laughed giving myself the once over and changing into my clothes.

After shopping we headed to the salon to have our hair done. Mine was simply straightened while Alice got hers done in a spiky do. Once our hair looked fit to go, we headed back to my house. Masen was sitting on the floor in the living room with Emmett playing X-BOX.

"You know I hate him playing that." I scolded Emmett when I walked in the house

"Bell come on he's a kid, let him enjoy being one." Emmett continued hitting the buttons on the controller

"Yea mommy, let me enjoy being a kid." Masen mimicked his uncle.

"Masen Carter, do you want to be punished?" I gave that you better listen to your mother look

"No mommy, I'm sorry." He pouted

"Go get ready for dinner." I ordered

He dropped the controller and ran up the stairs. We had dinner and began to get ready for our night out. Masen was sleeping over the neighbors house, who had two little boys his age. Alice was helping me adjust my dress when she began to look apprehensive.

"Alice you okay?" I asked with amused confusion

"I invited Edward, I hope that's okay." She hid her face from me

"It's completely fine. I kind of expected it." I laughed

"So you're not mad?" She bit on her lip

"No Ali, I'm not mad, but now I'm going to have to talk to him, which I was willing to avoid until the end of time." I sighed adjusting the length of the dress

"I think its not going to be as bad as you think." Alice tapped my shoulder alerting me I was done

I slipped on the heels that matched the dress, looking over my friend standing infront of me.

"Damn Alice, Jasper won't know what to do with himself." I said checking out my friend

Alice was wearing a purple strapless satin dress that went to her knees. She tiny little frame filled it perfectly. Of course Alice wore high as a skyscraper heels. We made our way down the stairs, and when I say we, I mean Alice, made it down the stairs without tripping. However, I had no grace, but instead fell into the awaiting arms of Edward Cullen.

I grabbed onto his biceps, getting a good grip on how firm they were. Our eyes locked for a moment and I was memorized. Those green eyes always penetrated me to my very soul. I wanted to reach out and kiss him and never stop, but all too soon he was straightening me up.

"Easy killer." He chuckled

"Thanks." I mumbled

"Anytime, you know I'm always here to catch you." He laughed shaking his head. _If only he was_...

I nodded and headed into the living room. Rose sat in her pajamas on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in her lap and Emmett leaning his head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry you guys can't go out with us, its not the same without you." I said sincerely

"Its okay, we got movies and each other, we're good." Rose smiled kissing Emmett while he rubbed her very pregnant belly

The pang of jealous struck me at that moment. Seeing how in love and happy they were. Not to mention how Emmett was there for her through the whole pregnancy. But then again I needed to remind myself, this was a choice I made. A decision I would need to live with for the rest of my life.

We made it to the club a little bit later and of course being celebrities we didn't wait, we were let right in. Of course VIP was where we were directed. I guess being famous as good perks. We even got our own personal waitress who was completely star struck when she saw Edward, Jasper, and James. Me and Alice just rolled our eyes.

Alice dragged me to the dance floor while the guys hung low in the balcony. I figured that was more for the sake of being mulled by wild girls. Has Alice and I swayed to the beat of ying yang twins get low I was getting low or attempting it when I felt a pair of big hands on my hips. It had been a long time since I went out let alone had someone try to dance with me.

My body stiffened. I wasn't drunk enough yet for this, but when I looked at my assailant, it was Edward. I blew out a sigh of relief.

"Why did you stop dancing?" He looked at me perplexed

"I didn't know it was you." I said getting lost in his eyes

He shook his head and smiled, pulling me into him. The song changed to my boo by usher. Edward did his dip and I tried to keep up with his perfect dance skills. We swayed to our own little rhythm and I enjoyed the feel of his body so close to me.

I snaked my arms around his neck and leaned as close as possible into his body. He caressed my bare arms with his soft hands all the way up to my finger tips. In that fleeting moment I turned to face him, his green eyes were now a dark forest green, dark with desire. I gasped from their intensity, but as quick as the look was there, it was suddenly gone.

"I,um, yea." He mumbled walking away from me.

I stood there in the middle of the floor shocked beyond belief. Could it be possible that he wanted me? I had wished that for so long, but I remembered he was with Tanya and as much as I hated her, I would never do that to someone, try to interfere with their relationship.

The rest of the evening was enjoyable and Edward kept his distance, which I could respect. I however wished he would explain what happened out there. It was well past three and Alice was ready to call it a night and so was I. The driver came up with our limo and began to drop us off one by one to our respective places.

Jasper owned a house here in Miami, which of course Alice was staying there. Edward had a condo, which I expected the driver to drop him off at first, but instead headed to the direction of my parent's house.

I tried to look out the window but it was so dark that there wasn't much to see once the city faded behind us.

"So are we ever going to take about Masen's party?" Edward spoke bringing me out of my musings

"What's to talk about?" I continued to stare

"The fact it made you cry Bella. Why did that upset you so much?" He pulled my hand making me turn to look in his face

He was genuinely concerned, which never fazed me about him. He was one of the most caring people I knew.

"I didn't realize he felt that way about you." I looked down at my lap

"Of course he does, I'm the guy he is always around. I expected that question to come up sooner or later." I saw him shrug from the corner of my eye

"It doesn't bother you?" I looked at him

"Bella I love him like he was my son, you think the thought never crossed my mind?" Edward chuckled, but his face was less than humorous

"What thought?" My nerves suddenly began to burn, every inch of my body was on alert.

_Did he know? Had he caught on? Surely he would have said something sooner if he had._

"I think its important that you contact his dad. Its only fair to Masen. I could help you find him even." Edward suggested

_No he had no idea at all. His head was in the wrong direction._

"It was a one night stand after high school, I didn't really know his name or anything but the fact he was hot." I lied

"See that story never really stuck too well with me considering I have known you forever. I never pictured you as the type." He gave me suspicious glare

"Well you don't know me that well and exactly what type would that make me? The kind that goes and sleeps with a guy who she happens not to know his name?" I accused

"No Bella, just the type that would be so, open with her sexuality." He held his hands in surrender

"Has if you would know." I mumbled folding my arms

"Sorry if I I offended you Bella." Edward said with a heavy intake of air

"Its fine." I waved my hand dismissively

The next few days were spent with my parents and Masen, just enjoying lounging around the house or on the beach. I hadn't realized how much I had missed this. Being a rock and roll manager had it perks, believe me, but it had downsides too. I guess that's part of the sacrifice for your dream job.

Music had always been a huge love of mine, especially once I met Edward. He had a big part in all of this. Singing was his passion and secretly was mine too. I had been writing music, but I never bothered to show it to anyone, I was too scared of the criticism. The band wrote their music, all original material.

It was Wednesday afternoon Alice, Rose, and me were laying out on the beach while the guys were off doing god knows what. I hadn't told the girls about what Masen had said to Edward, feeling like I would be on trial with them for sure.

There was a fierce game of volley ball going on a few feet from us. Hot guys with nice bods, oh yes, my kind of view. Out of the blue I felt something smack my leg and I looked down to find the volley ball wedged between my foot and my chair.

A huge shadow cast down on me and I looked up into the sexy face of an unfamiliar man. He was tall and well built with sparkling blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. He smiled at me and lord if a girl could swoon, well I just did.

"Hey sorry about that, I spiked it a little too hard." He chuckled nervously

His voice was deep and husky, like a sexy telephone operator, if one did exist.

"Um, that's okay." I said picking up his ball, handing it to him

"I'm Demetri, by the way." He smiled sticking his hand out for me to shake

"Bella." I nodded returning his gesture

"I've never seen you before, are you new?" Hope gleaming in his blue eyes

"Just visiting my parents for a few days." I shielded my eyes from the sun that was getting through my glasses

"Well that's a shame Bella, I would loved to hang out, if you're available that is." He smirked

"Oh she's available." Alice elbowed me

"Ouch." I said rubbing my side

"Great, maybe you want to go out for a drink or something tonight?" Another hopeful gleam

"I don't know." I said feeling unsure

"Just give us a place and time and she will be there, I promise." Alice said bouncing in her lounge chair

"Alice!" I grumbled

"Oh C'mon Bella, you know you want to." She moved her glasses to the bridge of her nose

"Fine." I huffed

"Great, do you know where Gravity is?" He asked

"We can find it!" Alice beamed

"Okay, see you at seven then Bella." Demetri winked and strolled off back to his game

"Alice did you seriously just hook me up!" I glared at her

"Yes I did, you deserve someone too." She nodded her head smugly leaning back into her chair

"I'm with Alice on this one Bella. You deserve to have some fun and you never know, he could turn out to be the one." Rose chimed in

"Where were you like five minutes ago?" I accused

"Here minding my business." She smirked leaning back

I grumbled and picked my magazine up off the ground while the girls both giggled at me.

I was pulling up in the parking lot of gravity to meet Demetri for a drink. I debated whether to flee or stay. I hadn't been on a date in a very long time and my bed had seen very little action, only if you count my hand.

Alice had insisted I wear this button down purple top with a black pencil skirt with matching heels. My hair was curled and make up was light. I felt kind of ridiculous and had almost put the car in reverse when I spotted Demetri by the door looking at his watch.

He cleaned up nicely with a dark blue button down shirt and black slacks with polished ,most likely, designer dress shoes. His hair was spiked and he looked anxious. I sighed and got out of the car. The minute my shoes hit the pavement I saw his nervous face light up with a smile. He was rather good looking.

"Bella, you came." His face smiled as he walked toward me

"I did." I nodded holding my hands together infront of me

"I really thought you were going to stand me up." He rubbed the back of his neck

"I thought about it." I laughed

"Well I'm glad you didn't, you look wonderful." He looked genuine

"Thanks, so do you." I gestured infront of him

"Well I guess its an upgrade from swim trunks." He laughed

"I suppose." I bit on my lip

"Shall we go in?" He lead me to the door

It turned out we had more in common than I could have guessed. He was a celebrity lawyer and had a five year old daughter named Cassie. He had been married, but divorced her because she cheated on him and he had full custody of the child. I had about three days left in Florida and we made plans to spend a lot of time together.

After having dinner with Demetri on my last night in Miami, he walked me to my parents front door. I felt like a teenage girl on her first date. He had on a suit jacket that was striped with a white tee and some jeans, matching it off with sandals. Very casual for a business man.

"I can't believe you are leaving tomorrow." He smiled while looking down with his hands in his pockets

"I've had a great time with you and the kids this week. I can't believe I go back to reality tomorrow." I felt butterflies in my stomach

"Bella, I"

Demetri." We said at the same time and we both laughed

"You go first." I swung my hand at him

"I'm going to miss you." He held my gaze

"I'll miss you too." I moved closer to rub his cheek and he lead into my touch

"I've waited a long time for a girl like you." He took that as his cue and brushed his soft lips to mine

The kiss was sweet and slow, not pushy or rushed. I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He grabbed my hips and suddenly the sweet kiss turned passionate. We were mulling each other's faces off when I heard someone clear their throat from behind us.

I pulled away and Edward was standing there looking completely awkward.

"I didn't mean to interrupt." He looked uncomfortable

"I just about pushed Demetri out of the way, stumbling off the step. Edward grabbed me to steady me at the same time Demetri did. They both glared at each other.

"Edward Cullen." Reconciliation crossed Demetri's face

"That would be me, who the hell are you?" He glared

"This is Demetri Edward." I pulled my lips between my teeth

"Bella's boyfriend." Demetri held his hand out to Edward, but all he did was glance between it and me.

"He's not my boyfriend." I blurted out

"Well at least you got this one's name. If you'll excuse me." Edward walked back down the path toward his car

I stood there dumbfounded, what the hell was that? He was so rude and childish, so unlike him to act toward an adult.

"I should go." Demetri's face looking wounded

"Yea, I think that would be best."

"Ill call you." He waved causal and disappeared

I pulled at my hair and stomped my foot a few times on the pavements and opened the front door. I proceeded to pull off my shoes and throw them at the couch the front door opened and in walked Edward. His expression was unreadable as he walked toward me pulling me by my shoulders.

His eyes were dark, almost black as he stared at me and before I even knew what was happening, his lips were crashing against mine...

**Well my lovelies, tell me what you think...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Awe I hope everyone had wonderful new year and I hope whatever you choose as your resolution its a good one! Thank you for the reviews and the love! Life is about embracing the unknown, I welcome it with open arms! A lot of you were right with your assumptions, here will give you some answers! Has always, no beta, tried to fix the errors, so I apologize if there are any!**

**Chapter 3**

The second his lips touched mine, sirens went off in my head. _He's not yours, he's not yours, he is engaged to Tanya! _I pushed him away and glared at him. He looked conflicted, almost guilty, as he should be!

"I'm sorry, I don't know what just came over me." He touched his lips with confusion clear on his face

I mirrored his actions and looked at his disappointed face. I loved his lips, I wanted them so often ,but he was acting off a completely different emotion here. I wanted him to want me because he couldn't get me out of his head, not because he suddenly got jealous. Anger built up inside of me.

"You come here, make accusations, insult me, and then got the nerve to kiss me! What the hell." I shoved him

"I deserve that. I don't have any excuse. Oh god, I'm the worst guy alive right now. I gotta call Tanya and tell her what happened." He began to pace infront of me pulling at his hair

"You will do no such thing!" I tugged at his arm

"Excuse me?" He stopped pacing and stared at me

"Call Tanya and tell her what Edward? Oh I kissed Bella. Yea that won't strain the already thin line her and I walk on." I fumed

"I can't lie to her, that wouldn't be right." He looked at me like I should know better

"Tell her you kissed another woman, but don't tell her it was me. Even if you did kiss me first, she will twist it and make it my fault. She already thinks I'm trying to steal you from her." I crossed my arms

"Where would she get such a ridiculous idea from?" Edward looked expectantly at me

Me! That's where she would get that idea from me. Women were perspective when it came to other women. We knew when someone was after our man, and believe me she had threatened me on more than one occasion. But Edward always the oblivious.

"I don't know." I mumbled

"I, I.." He shook his head and walked out of the house

I watched the now empty space in front of the door where he was just standing. I had expected him to come back in and pick me up and drag me to bed. _Hey a girl is aloud to have dirty thoughts._

I made my way to my room and put on my pajamas. I was hanging the dress back in the closet when I saw a box taped in the bottom of the closet with a label written in black marker.** Bella's Stuff. **Funny how up until now I never noticed it there. I picked the box up and put it in the middle of the bed. I was far from tired and Masen was spending his last night with mom and dad at my grandparents house.

I poked the carefully sealed tap with a pen I had laying on the end table and a smile graced my lips. It was a lot of old memoirs from high school. Yearbooks, pictures, my graduation cap. It seemed hundreds of years ago, but it was only 7. I scanned through the year book, looking at old pictures and reading biographies of my now famous friends.

Turning the page a picture fluttered out and fell on the mattress. I picked it up and stared at it. It was Edward and me. He had me in a headlock, it was the night of Jasper's graduation party.

**(Flashback)**

I was leaning against the banister of Jasper's stairs with a cup of some god awful liquor that Rose insisted I drink. I watched from my position as my friends were dancing in the living room. Jasper's parents let him throw a party, the last high school hoopla.

Rose was shaking her ass on my brother. I had to look away before I threw up. Jasper was in deep conversation with some girl, I had no clue who she was. Stacy's Mom played in the background as the front door opened. In walked Edward and his minions. Jasper was one of Edward's best friends, along with Emmett, at least the guy kind

He looked sexy with his gray tee shirt and black jeans and doc martin boots. His copper hair was a fashionable mess. I had loved him since conception. He was the boy all the girls in school wish they could date. He was good looking, could sing, among other talents, and just an amazing guy. Yes tonight I would tell him how I felt, throw caution to the wind!

He gave me a huge smile as he walked in my direction. _What would I say? How should I ask? Be cool Swan, be smooth._

"Hey Bella." He gave me his crooked smile shoving his hands deep in his pockets

"Hi Edward!" I said a little more enthusiastic than I meant to

"Having fun?" He leaned casually against the railing

"So far." I nodded feeling my face flush

"What are drinking?" He took the cup from my hand and smelled it

"I have no idea, Rose handed it to me and said drink." I let out a tense laugh

"Well if I didn't know her well enough, I would say she was trying it poison you." He scuffed, throwing the drink back in one quick swallow

"That was definitely awful." He chuckled looking almost green

"Let me get you something more proper." He winked and went to stroll off when Eric Yorkie grabbed him.

"Can I get a picture of you two." He pushed Edward toward me

Edward shrugged and pulled me into a head lock as I playfully fought him off. _Did I mention how good he smelled?_

"Thanks." Eric nodded with a smile, walking off to harass someone else

Edward wagged his eyebrows and walked off toward the kitchen, I followed in step. He was pouring a bunch of different liquids into a cup and mixed it around with his finger. Once he felt it was thoroughly done, he popped the finger in his mouth to taste his concoction.

I almost combusted from the sight alone. His long finger dipped between his full, soft looking lips and his eyes closed as his tongue was probably drawing circles over the tip. It seemed to happen in slow motion, but in reality it was like 5 seconds. I might have extravaganted a little.

"Here try this." Edward biting on his thumb, he hands me the cup

"What's in it?" I looked at his lips

"Trust me." He spoke with his eyes

I shrugged and took a tentative sip. This was definitely a yummy tasting drink.

"This is delicious." I hummed, but probably not as delicious as him

"Its called a sex bomb." He winked again

"You definitely are." I blurted out

"What?" Edward asked amused

"Um, nothing." I smiled downing the drink

"Why's it called that?" I asked, holding my cup out for a refill

"It makes you feel sexy." He chuckled

I blushed as he handed me my refill. We both stood there drinking.

"Want to dance?" Edward grabbed my hand leading me into the living room

"You know I can't dance." I pulled back on his hand

"Oh come on Bella, have some fun for once." Edward swayed back and forth infront of me

"What if I embarrass you." I bit my lip

"That is not likely." He smiled pulling me to where Rose and Emmett were bumping

and grinding.

We danced for a little while and it was a lot of fun. Basically Edward danced and I just moved back and forth. We were both on refill number five and I was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol in my system. The tempo changed to a slow song.

I began to walk away but Edward grabbed my wrist. I looked at his hand then his face. He looked painfully beautiful; even while intoxicated.

"You can't abandon the dance now Bella." He looked at me with that sexy smirk

I sighed in defeat and rolled my eyes playfully. I placed my hands on his shoulders and he put his on my waist. We moved back and forth. Unconsciously, we moved closer,our chests were touching and I found my hands in his soft hair.

I had imagined time after time how it would feel to run my fingers over his scalp, and to pull at his bronze locks. But I never imagined it would feel this nice and turn me on so much. Not that I had any idea what that felt like to begin with. I was Bella the 17 year old virgin, which with my high school, was unheard of.

I heard his sharp intake of air as he tried to mesh our bodies closer together. It was to the point, a piece of paper couldn't fit.

"Bella." Edward's breathless voice spoke in my ear

I looked up at his face, his green eyes penetrating. I gulped down the saliva that was forming in my mouth. He cupped my face in his hands, brushing his thumbs across my cheek bones. I had never seen him look at me like this. He leaned down and gentle touched his lips to mine.

I moaned and tugged at his hair, pulling him closer to my mouth. I became overly bold and parted his lips with my tongue, forcing my entry. He obliged me eagerly. The heat that was forming around us was smoldering. The kiss was intense, he pulled back to stare at me.

With words unspoken, we just agreed to something with a fierce stare. I nodded and he grabbed my hand, dragging me up the stairs of the Whitlock home. . He guided me to one of the guests room, pulling me into the room, locking the door.

I sat down at the end of the bed, palms leaning on the soft mattress, looking lustful up at Edward. He looked so incredible sexy has he pulled his gray tee over his head and threw it on the floor. He then proceeded to kick off his boots. I looked at his taunt and muscular chest.

"Take off your clothes Bella." He demanded in a sultry voice

I had on a blue short sleeved button down shirt with a pair of jeans and sneakers. I hesitated for a moment, suddenly feeling self conscious. Edward took this as a sign of something else. He sauntered over to me and knelled infront of me, unbuttoning my shirt. Off in the distance you could hear Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not the One, playing.

My eyes grew large as I watched his fingers work quickly to remove my shirt. He looked at my white cotton bra and then at my face and his lips merged with mine. He pushed me back on the bed and leaned over, devouring my mouth with his.

I wrapped my fingers back in his hair while his strong arms were spreading my thighs apart. He nudged them open with his knee I felt his warm hands on my stomach as he ran them over my bra covered breasts. My breathing was labored and I thought at any moment I would die of a heart attack.

"God Bella, you are so beautiful. Far more than I ever could have imagined." His voice husky

"You think I'm beautiful." I said dumfounded

"So fucking beautiful." His lips came crashing down again

I knew this wasn't romantic, hell this was high school, what was? But here was the boy I loved, the boy I wanted to give myself completely to. I made busy with his belt and tried to hastily of getting his jeans off. I heard him chuckling

"What?" I felt like I had done something wrong

"You are so eager, aren't you?" He smiled genuinely down at me

"I have waited so long for this, for you to notice me." I bit my lip

"Aw Bella, you are the only girl I ever noticed." He kissed me gingerly

Soon all clothes were disregarded and he was hovering over me, in position. I could feel his pending erection at my soaking wet entrance, but I had never done this, I didn't know how to begin. I shifted slightly under him.

"Wow, there nelly." He laughed

"I've n-never done t-this." I stuttered

"It's okay, I'll guide you." His eyes sparkled

With that, guide me he did over the edge of orgasmic bliss. His slowly entered me, inching himself in. He glided slowly back and forth. I groaned from the feeling. It was not what I expected. Rose told me it hurt the first time, that I would probably not enjoy it, but Edward was gentle and pacing himself. I felt a little pressure, but nothing that I couldn't deal with.

His hips swerved to one side and the angle was eye rolling in back of head good.\

"Are you okay?" His hands placed on the sides of my face

"Yes, keep going." I pulled my body off the mattress to meet his thrusts

His movements were unhurried, but I needed more friction form him.

"Faster Edward." I moaned trying to rub against him

He groaned and picked up the rhythm of his hips backing up and pushing into me with such expertise. I arched my back off the bed and he grabbed my hips firmly in his grasp. I looked at his face and his green eyes full of lust and possession.

"Get on top." He flipped me over before I had the chance to even reply. He had me straddling him without ever breaking our connection. He must have done this a lot.

"I don't know what to do." My insecurities fluttering

"Just move back forth Bella, I'll assist." He looked adoringly at me

So I did as I was told and moved back and forth. The feeling was divine, much more pleasurable in this position. I leaned my hands back to hold myself up, throwing my head back.

"Yes Bella, just like that baby. You look so sexy." Edward groaned

Nobody ever told me I was sexy before either, god it was a lot of firsts tonight.

Edward began to rub my clit as his rhythm under me picked up tremendously and I could feel the coils in my stomach tighten.

"Edward, I feel weird." I yelped from above him

"Does it feel good Bella?" His voice dripping with desire and his eyes burned into me

"Yes, oh yes." I felt almost as if I was going to pass out

He gave me his half smirk and pressed harder down on my clit with his thumb and the world began to sway. My entire body began to shake while my vision darkened. I could see fucking stars

"You're having an orgasm beautiful girl." Edward growled pushing one last time into me before stilling under me. I collapsed on his chest.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like this, but suddenly the room was spinning and not in a nice way. My stomach was churning, I was about to be sick! I jumped off Edward and ran toward the bathroom, emptying all the contents that were in it.

When finally all the contents of my stomach were gone, I stumbled back into the bedroom and picked up my clothes off the floor. I began to put them back on, noticing Edward was knocked out on the bed.

His slumbering figure looked peaceful. His lips parted as in breathed. After buttoning up my shirt I crawled back onto the bed and traced my finger over his bottom lip. I kissed them softly and he groaned my name. I looked at his face to see if he had awoken, but he was still sleeping.

I looked down at my watch and saw that it was 3:30am, I needed to get home. Emmett was probably freaking out. I got to my feet and pecked Edward's lips one last time before disappearing out of the room.

The next afternoon I was heading to Edward's house. The world seemed brand new. I put on the pink and white sundress my mother bought me for graduation that I really had no reason to wear, until last night.

I picked a flower from the lawn as I approached the Cullen's front door. I rang the bell, waiting eagerly for someone to answer. Carlisle open the door, smiling widely at me.

"Well Bella, don't you look lovely." His warm expression made me blush

"Is Edward here?" I looked around him

"He's down at the boat house." He smiled

"Alright, thanks." I waved as I quickly walked away

The boathouse was owned by the Cullen's, obviously for their boats. It had garage type sett up where the guys practiced and hung out, most of the time. Emmett hadn't mentioned they were hanging out today, but it must have slipped his mind.

I reached the dock and pulled open the door only to find Lauren Mallory on her knees in front of Edward. She was going down on him. His eyes were closed and head thrown back in pleasure. Nobody noticed my entry and I exited just the same.

The unbearable emotions that flew through me could not be described. I ran as fast as I could home, crying all the way. My mother tried to stop me as I ran up the stairs to my room, but I ignored her and curled into a ball on the bed.

After a week's time it had come clear to me that Edward had no reticulation of our love making. He acted no different and even with little hints I would drop, he was clueless. Six weeks later my period would not come. I found myself in planned parenthood's waiting room listening for the nurse to call my name. Both Rose and Jasper were at my side.

"Maybe you are just late." Rose tried to assure me holding my hand

"I've never been late a day in my life." I sobbed

"You need to tell Edward." Jasper scolded

"I'm telling him nothing Jazz. He doesn't even remember we had sex! How would I explain to him I was pregnant with his child!" I screeched softly

"Isabella Swan." The blond nurse called from the doorway

I stood, looking at my two friends and walked toward the nurse.

**(Flashback Ends)**

I had cried a lot in the last few days, more than I had cried in the last seven years. No I did the right thing, I did. I placed all the items back in the box, except for the picture of Edward and me. That I placed under my pillow, laying my head on it and closed my eyes.

"Mommy I like the green one, can I have the green one?" Masen's greenish brown eyes looked up at me.

"Sure Masen." I said absentmindedly

"Yes." He punched his fist in the air

I looked down at him. It never occurred to me just how much he resembled Edward until that moment. Masen had pale blond hair with those mismatched eyes that resembled the combination of my color and Edward's. He would notice this one day, but for now I needed to formulate a plan.

"I never saw a kid get so excited abut fruit." Rose eyed him funny

"Auntie Rose, I will have you know fruit is an essential part of your everyday diet." Masen said in such a serious tone. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing

"You spend way too much time with Emmett." She mumbled pushing her grocery cart

"At least he is a good influence." I pointed out to her

"Masen, what does essential mean?" Rose gave him a knowing smile

"I don't know." He shrugged and continued to walk past the bread section

"You know your brother could convince that kid of anything and he would never question it, you do understand that?" Rose scolded me

"Awe yes, but guess what Rosie? That thing inside of you will know the same torture as I do!" I made a face rubbing her belly. She swatted me away while I laughed, she scoffed

"You do realize even before this tour is over, I will have had my baby! I can't believe it!" Her mood suddenly turning soft

She rubbed her big belly in adoration.

"Yes I did and that's why the guys decided to end the tour early, about three weeks early." I touched her shoulder to gauge her reaction.

"Really?" Rose looked at me surprised

"Don't seem so surprised. They all want Emmett to be there when it happens and we didn't think we should have someone fill in for him in his absence." I shrugged

"Bella, that's so thoughtful." Tears were streaming down her cheeks

"Oh Rose I don't want you to cry." I hugged her as close as I could

"I can't help it." She pulled away fanning her face from the tears

"I remember those days." I laughed to myself

"That you do." Rose gave a sympathetic smile

"Edward kissed me." I blurted out

"What?" Rose yelled

"Shh, keep your voice down. Masen watch where you are walking!" I yelled up ahead

"Yes mommy." He turned to look at me

"When did that happen and why am I only just hearing about it?" She demanded

"Because I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about." I pushed the carriage

"Bella Marie Swan, spit!" Rose glared at me with her hands on her hips

"It happened three days ago."

"Three days ago and I'm only hearing about it now!" She screeched

"Wait." She held her hand up to stop me from talking. "Didn't you have a date with Demetri three days ago?" She looked confused at me

"Yes." I said tight lipped

"Did he see you guys?" Rose's devilish her grin appeared

"He caught up mauling each other's faces off." I know I was turning red

"Mommy only animals maul people, not people." I hadn't even seen Masen stroll back.

"Honey, didn't you want to look at the toys?" Rose pointed to a display with some toys on it

"Oh cool." His attention diverted

"So basically he saw you two and acted out of a jealous impulse. Wow we should have thought of this sooner." Rose fend deep thought

"Rose he did it for the wrong reasons." I huffed

"Bella regardless of why he did it, he did it. Does that not speak volumes?" She pointed her finger at me

"It tells me that the second it happened he made it sound like the worst thing he ever did." I slumped my shoulders and leaned on the cart

"He's just confused right now, he doesn't understand what it means. Oh this is great!" She clapped her hands together

"Masen, lets go, we're done." I yelled over to him

"Coming mommy." Her walked to my side holding up a plastic plane.

"No." I scolded and he shrugged.

I placed it back on the rack and we proceeded to check out.

**So what do you think everyone? I hope you liked this bit of knowledge we now all I have, I love reviews and thoughts pleaseeeeeeee send me some! Not sure when I will have the next chapter out and no I do not work off an update schedule, I just update when I have time lol.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'd like to ask a question, why do people make it a point to be mean? Like seriously, get laid or join the gym, get your negative energy out another way than insulting people, just needed to get that out! I love you all who read and review and show me love! I appreciate it more than you will ever know. I been helping a friend through a rough time, so I apologize if my updating is all over the place! On with the show!**

**Chapter 4**

Its been three weeks since Florida and the kiss. Edward has avoided me like the plague. He apparently didn't mention the whole "kissing" thing to Tanya because she hasn't said a single insulting word to me since Toronto.

Tonight we are playing a gig in Seattle Washington. I haven't been back to Washington in a long time, maybe we could take a quick trip to Forks. Alice was curious to know about the place we began in. I think she is more curious about meeting Jasper's parents than anything else.

The Twilight Saga's loud thumping music echos in the Showbox at the Market. Fans sing along to the words, but all I hear is Edward's velvety voice.

She was like the brightest star in the sky,

Eyes so deep you never know if you're on earth or mars,

She took my heart and stole it in bright daylight,

So much pain she left feels like pure suicide,

Can someone help me please.

Can they stop this burning disease,

I just need to believe,

One day she might just love me...

I see Tanya from the corner of my eye sitting on a stool by the edge of the stage. Her eyes are set upon Edward and I feel my stomach twist into knots. I had imagined it being me in her place so many times. I knew I needed to let this go, let him go. She would be on tour with us for the next two months, she was the opening act, her band was called Bad Reception and sometimes they sounded that way too.

**(Flashback)**

"You're pregnant?" Edward's surprised voice spoke when he saw me

"Yes." I bit back the tears that were forming in my eyes

I had spent the last five months hiding it from him. I was starting to gain the weight and that anyone would be able to pick up on.

"How far along?" He looks at me intensely

"Five months." I feel like I'm going to be sick

"I mean, how did this happen? I know I how it happened, but who? When?" He was shaking now, I didn't understand why he was so upset

I had to make up an excuse, anything to avoid telling him the truth, how could I? Oh yeah by the way we got drunk on graduation night and had sex and now I'm knocked up, congrats dad!

"I don't know his name." I blurted out

"What?" He looked at me like I was insane

"I was drunk, I don't remember." I looked down at my hands

"I can't believe that, I expect that from Rose perhaps, but you? Never." He looks at me in disgust

"What can't you believe that someone actually wanted to sleep with me?" I hold my hands on my hips

"That you would let someone use you like that." An emotion flickers in his eyes

"Well I guess I'm not the stark angel you always deemed me to be.!" I stomped away

**(Flashback Ends)**

"Is he okay?" Tanya's voice shaking me out of my memories

"I guess so." I shrug

"He's been weird since you guys came back from Florida. I mean he's never been like that, distant." She rubs her arms as if she is cold

"I really don't know what his problem is. He's moody sometimes, always has been." I lied

"I get you can't stand me, believe me the feeling is completely mutual, but we both have one thing very important in common, Edward. I know he considers you his best friend, but I'm the one he is going to marry and that title soon won't belong to you." She narrows her pretty blue eyes at me

I sigh loudly, pinching the bridge of my nose. This conversation is tiresome, the same conversation I've had a million times with this girl over the last 8 months.

"How many times are we going to have this conversation? He chose you, he wants to marry you, why are you so jealous of our friendship?" I look at her feeling exhausted

"I'm not jealous and I will keep having this conversation until you stop looking at him the way you do." She glares at me

"Exactly how is that?"

"Like you are desperately in love with him." She crosses her arms over her chest, challenging me, but I have no comeback, nothing witty to say.

"It's all in your head." I roll my eyes and walk away from her.

What else could I say? The truth was I did love him, desperately, but he didn't even know I existed. Plus there was Demetri to think about now. Things with him were going great, even after the awkward kiss. He called everyday and sent me sweet little thoughtful gifts.

He was flying out tonight to meet us here in Seattle. We would be doing three shows while we were here, so that would mean a week worth of time.

The band finished up their set and I was making sure things were in order. A sweet familiar voice beckoned my name from where the dressing rooms were. I see a beautiful bronzed haired Esme holding her arms out for me.

I gave her a huge smile and quickly made my way to her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Esme! Its been too long, look at you!" I extend my arms to give her a good look

"Oh Bella, you were always too sweet for your own good. Look at you, so grown up!" She rubs my cheek

"Where's Carlisle?" I ask looking around her

"He's with the guys." She nudges her head toward Edward and the gang

"Will you join us for drinks?" Esme asked with a bright smile

I checked my watch to see what time it was and I knew that Demetri would be calling soon and I needed to check on Masen.

"Maybe tomorrow, I'm really tired." I gave her a small smile

"Oh Bella, please come! It will be so much fun!" Alice suddenly appearing out of no where

Her enthusiasm was enough for entire stadium of people.

"Alice I gotta get back to Masen." I blew my bangs from my face

"He's with Rose, come on, just for a little while please?" She begged holding my hand

"Fine." I surrendered to the pixie

"Persuasive little thing isn't she?" Esme teases wrapping her arm over my shoulder

"You have no idea." I mutter

Alice sticks her tongue at me and we leave the backstage area.

We head over to this bar we used to frequent when we first started playing called the Wet Sand Box. Everyone grabs a sit at the biggest table in the tiny bar, while Edward and Jasper hit up the bar for drinks.

Tanya tries to snag the sit next to Esme, but Esme politely gestures for me to take it. Tanya gives me an evil glare, but I just ignore her. Its not my fault her future mother law loves me better. Edward returns to the table a few minutes later looking between me and Tanya. She is seated next to him throwing dirty looks my way.

"What did I miss while I was gone." Edward teased

"Nothing dear, is that for me." Esme asks sweetly

Edward hands her the dark drink, which she sips in delight. We chatted about old times and Edward's parents kept gushing over how proud they were of their son.

"You have the coolest parents ever Edward Cullen." Alice bounced in her chair

"You should have known them then." Edward and I said in laughing unison

We both looked at each other with mischievous grins.

"Oh these two kept me up many nights with their disobedience. I wasn't sure how me and Renee didn't turn gray sooner." Esme laughed

"Hey at least we weren't doing drugs." Edward pointed his bottle at her

"One less thing for me to worry about." Carlisle sighed

"Oh , they still have the instruments!" Jasper buzzed excitedly

"I can't believe it." I laughed

We used to play here when we were young, its how we got our break. They still had their original instruments and everything. I'm sure they did a lot of band covers in here during the week.

"Dude we so have to play The Cure tonight!" Emmett's voice boomed

"Oh yes, you definitely do." I pointed my beer bottle at Edward

"Like the band The Cure?" Tanya's voice curious

Edward rolls his eyes before he responds to her. "Yea, they are like our idols back in the day. We wanted to be like them until Emmett realized they wore make up. But we used to cover them a lot in our own sets."

"I would love to hear you guys play some Cure." A loud deep voice boomed from behind

I turned to be faced with the owner Benny Horns. I threw my hands in the air and wrapped them around his neck, squeezing hard.

"Bella bean, still the same." He chuckled hugging me back

"You got fat!" Emmett teased giving him a bro hug

"You got uglier. Didn't think it was possible!" Benny laughed

"You haven't changed a bit." I gushed

When I was younger I had the biggest crush on him. He was about 45 now, but still something to look at. He was built just like Emmett except he was blonde and green eyes, but nothing that compared to Edward's.

"Where is that smoking hot wife of yours?" Benny looked at Emmett

"She is home, 7 months pregnant." Emmett smiled proudly

"Still no idea what she saw in you." Benny shook his head in laughter. "Bella, you look mighty empty handed yourself." His eyebrows raised

"He's home with auntie Rose." I blushed. I knew he was referring to Masen. He hadn't seen my son in almost 6 years.

"You are all so grown up." He laughed

"Lets play something for the old gizzard." Jasper smiled getting up off his stool

Benny laughed a deep belly laugh. Everyone got off their stools and walked over to the stage. They each positioned their instruments. Edward adjusted the guitar and then the mic.

"This ones for Bella, she knows why." He smirked.

Tanya gave me the look of death. Emmett hit the drums and I was instantly grabbing Alice's hand and running for the dance floor. I began to sway my head back an forth, snapping my fingers. Just like Heaven had been the first song I ever heard Edward sing and it was totally by accident.

He was at his boathouse singing to the radio, completely in his element at the age of 14. I listened from the door way, completely mesmerized by his beautiful voice. He had caught me and looked so embarrassed, but that was the day he decided this was his dream, I had encouraged him.

They began to play another song as quickly as that one ended. However it seemed more like he was singing directly toward me. His piercing green eyes stared at me. I could feel the words of the song flowing through me, right to my heart. If they were only true, if only real.

"Whenever I'm alone with you, you make feel like I am free again. Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am free again. However far away I will always love you . However long I stay I will always love you, whatever words I say, I will always love you, I will always love you.." Then the song ended and a burning sensation grew from those green eyes to my brown ones.

The guys bowed and got off the stage. The music from the jukebox begins to play again. The guys get loud applauds and all sit smiling. Edward smirks looking at me and wraps his arm around Tanya. The moment is over.

I excuse myself from the table and walk back to the bar. I orderr another beer. I tap the bar waiting for the bar tender to bring it and I feel someone standing next to me. I look to my left and find a smiling Edward.

"Hey." He smiles timidly at me

You've been ignoring me." I blurted out as the bartender hands me my drink.

"Yea, I'm sorry I been acting like such an ass. I just didn't think you wanted to speak to me." His shoulders slumped

"Edward, we are best friends, you made a huge mistake, just let it go." I could feel myself growing agitated

"It didn't feel like a mistake." He muttered under his breath and I felt mine hitch in my throat.

Did I just hear him correctly? Did he just say kissing me wasn't a mistake? What does that even mean? I turn to look at him with hopeful eyes when I feel a warm arms snake around my waist. The moment is broken. I turn to my assault and its Demetri!

I had totally forgotten he was flying in tonight to see me! He gives me a sheering kiss on my lips and I'm standing there stunned. I turn away to see Edward's retreating figure. I sigh in defeat and turn to face Demetri. I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a smile.

"What are you doing here?" I ask trying to seem happy

"I told you I would be here, did you forget?" He laughed kissing my forehead

"I guess it slipped my drunken mind." I laughed showing him the beer bottle

"Well that's okay, I'm here now." He smirks kissing my lips once more

I look back at our table and glancing at my watch. Its already one am.

"Did Rose tell you where to find me?" I lean my head into his shoulder

"Yes, she mentioned it." He grabbed my hands

"Is it okay if we go, I'm tired." I looked at me

"I would love nothing more than to have you all to myself." He pulled me into him and we walked back to the table.

"We're gonna head out. Will you guys be okay?" I looked around the table, catching Edward's intense eyes on me

"Yes we are good, mind if I catch a ride with you. I want to get back to Rose." Emmett asked

"Sure, no problem." I gave everyone a tight smile, saying my good nights

We made it back to the hotel in comfortable silence. Emmett left us to go to his room and I invited Demetri to mine. I unlocked the door, dropping my keys on the small table beside it and took off my coat. Demetri took a seat on the couch and patted the side next to him for me to sit.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I missed you." He whispered into my hair

"I missed you too." I smiled thinking about how nice that was to hear

"Where's Masen?"

"With Rose and Emmett." I sighed

"So we are all alone then?" His head perked up to look at me

"Yes we are." I smiled

"You know a lot could happen then." He wagged his eyebrows at me

"Yes it could." I gave him a suggestive grin

I climbed onto his lap and began to kiss him softly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and before I knew what was happening, my shirt was completely off my body and so was his. We hadn't had sex yet, we had only been dating a month. It wasn't that I didn't want to because to be quite honest, he was sexy and I was lonely. It just never seemed to be a good time.

We had time now. We were alone, we could do whatever we wanted to. His mouth was nipping and licking all over my neck, shoulders, chest. His hands were rubbing my back and grabbing my hips. I was dry humping the poor guy not even realizing it.

It had been a long time since I had sex, a very long time. I had sex a few times after Edward, but none of them lived up to his potential or maybe I just built him up so much in my mind, nobody could compare.

However the way Demetri was making me feel right now, my body was about to explode. I kissed my way down his toned chest, digging my nails down my path.

"Fuck, Bella, that feels so good!" He moaned leaning his head against the back of the small couch.

His skin tasted sweet and smelled even better. I pulled myself down further off his lap and began to remove his pants. He grabbed my wrists to still me. I looked up at him, wondering why he wanted me to stop and he sighed, pulling me back into his lap.

"Are you really sure you want to do that?" He looked at me rubbing my cheek

"I want you, what's there to think about?" I began to squirm out of his embrace.

"I want you too, but like this, I wanted it to be more romantic." He gave me a half smile.

"I don't want romance Demetri, I want you inside of me in the next five minutes or I will die." I gave him an intense stare

"Oh god." He groaned pulling me to my feet and picking me up in his arms, carrying me the bed.

He flopped me down on the bed and leaned over me, kissing me sweetly while he tried to unbutton my jeans. I mimicked his actions by trying to remove his belt. He sat up and removed it himself, while unbuttoning his own pants.

With one swift motion he had my jeans in a pile on the floor. I grabbed his neck, bringing his lips back to mine. The feel of skin on skin was electrifying. I gripped his hair to keep his face angled with mine. He wrapped his hands around my hips, pulling my body closer to his.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed his boxers out of the way with the balls of my feet. I could hear him laughing from above me.

"What?" I smiled up at him

"Eager much?" He laughed

"I want you." I tried to sound sexy and guess it worked because those soft lips reconnected with mine.

Soon we found ourselves completely naked and positioned for take off. I looked into his sparkling blue eyes, he kissed me softly and we were joined. He inhaled sharply once he entered me. His eyes flashed open, staring down at me. He rocked his hips slowly into me. I wrapped my legs around his hips while he continued.

"You're so beautiful Bella, I could so fall in love with you." His lips came crashing down on me and the tears came streaming down my face.

I had no reply. I had only known him such a short time, but he had made his presence known in my life. He made the effort, he wanted this, he wanted me and all my hang ups, but was I ready to give into it? I wasn't sure..

He was only here for the night, so the next morning we were standing at the curb of the hotel, waiting for his car to pick him up . He had business in Seattle that day, but wanted to see me before he left, he was very thoughtful that way. I thanked him for the lovely evening and he promised to call when he got back home.

Later that afternoon I was sitting by the pool with Rose, Alice, and Masen was swimming with a group of kids.

"So what happened with Demetri last night?" Rose asked over her fruity nonalcoholic drink

"I don't kiss and tell." I smirked staring at the pages of the book I was reading

"Bullshit Swan, spill." Rose ripped the book from my hand throwing it to Alice

"Alright, alright. We did it." I smiled proudly

"Oh how was he? Is he big? He looks big!" Alice asked excitedly

"He does look like he would be packing, not probably as good as Emmett, but we all are not that lucky." Rose smirked

"I don't need to know that about my brother, gross." I placed my hands over my ears

"Grow up Bella." Rose rolled her eyes

"He was incredible. Size and performance. But he kind of said something and I don't know how I feel about it." I bit down into the flesh of my lip

"What did he say? I hate when guys say weird stuff during sex, such a turn off." Alice huffed crossing her arms over her chest

"He said he could fall in love with me." I waited for the onslaught of comments from the peanut gallery, but they both just awed and oohed. Some friends

"So what did you say back?" Alice asked

"I didn't say anything , I just kissed him." I slumped back into the chair

"Well I guess that would be my response as well." Rose chimed in

"I hope I didn't hurt his feelings." Sudden panic over took me

"I doubt it, did he mention anything this morning before he left?" Rose asked

"No just that he would call when he got in." I shrugged

"Well maybe he just said it in the heat of the moment." Alice sipped her drink

"You're probably right." That made me relax a little. Yeah he said it in the heat of the passion.

Some time had passed and I could hear the fast pace of shoes walking toward us. We were joking about something when the owner of those loud foot steps stopped dead infront of me. I looked up to see Edward seething.

"We need to talk." He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he was pulling me up by my arm and dragging me into enclosed room.

It had a glass sliding door and he slid it shut and glared at me. I hadn't seen him this pissed since someone broke his favorite guitar.

"Explain this." He shoved what looked to be a picture into my chest

I took it from his hands and examined it closely. It was a picture of a little boy with pale blond hair and greenish blue eyes. A little boy who looked exactly like my son, but Masen never had this hair cut or those clothes. I had a very clear idea of who the real little boy in this picture was, a very 100% sure idea.

"Its a fucking picture of me when I was 7 years old Bella!" He said through his clenched teeth

"And?" I tried to act like I didn't see the connection

"And?" His voice condescending. "Explain why your son looks exactly like me!" He roared

"I don't know Edward." I was trying to talk my way out of this ,but could I do that anymore?

He began to pace back and forth, pulling his hair. "Don't do that." He glared at me

"Do what?" I stomped holding my hands to my hips

"Lie to me. I'm not an idiot Bella. I can put two and two together!" He threw his hands in the air

"Edward, really..." But the look he gave me, told me to shut up before I spewed anymore bullshit.

"I go to my parents house, so Tanya could see where I grew up. I come across a picture sitting on the mantel in the living room and asked my mother where she got the picture of Masen sitting there on a log in Point Peak. Her response to me was, That's you Edward, are you feeling okay?" He stopped moving and glared at me some more

I gulped down some air and didn't say a word, I was frozen in silence. He continued to speak.

"I thought maybe my eyes were just deceiving me, but then I remembered, I had pictures of him on my phone. I compared and my mom saw and do you know what happened next?" He scolded

I shook my head no.

"Esme saw the picture and she cried. My mom broke down in tears and for the life of me I couldn't understand why. Then she explained it. Coincidence, perhaps, but completely unlikely. I laughed at her at first, you know. I said I never slept with Bella, its impossible for that boy to belong to me. Then it all came crashing down on me." He pushed me into the door

"The night of the graduation party, before I came to Jasper's house, I stopped by Lauren Mallory's. I don't even remember being at Jasper's that night, but Emmett mentioned something to me one time along time ago, but I just told him maybe he was drunk and didn't see clearly. He said you and I were dancing and I kissed you, then we disappeared." He searched my eyes

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I had been caught. He knew, even if he didn't remember, he knew.

"I went to find Lauren and not that it surprised me she still lives in Forks. Yea, she admitted she slipped me Ecstasy that night when I went to break up with her, she slipped it into a drink and somehow Mike Newton was able to navigate me to Jasper's, but I barely remember that night. Then I remembered how you told me your bullshit story about how and when you got pregnant. It wasn't that hard to figure out after-wards." He looked at me as if he was repulsed . A look I was getting used to from him lately.

"So Isabella, tell me the fucking truth for once!" He roared in my face

I cringed back in fear or shame. I wasn't sure. I had never seen him so pissed

"Its true." My voice so small, I wasn't even sure I said it

"Fuck!" He yelled, moving in circles again

"This doesn't change anything." I stuttered

He twirled around so fast, I almost lost my balance. His eyes were blazing, he looked almost crazy

"It doesn't change anything?" He mocked

"No." I looked down. He began to laugh, but not a humorous laughter

"Are you insane? This changes everything! Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I would make a lousy father or that Masen didn't deserve to know the truth? Were you ever planning on speaking up?" His hostility growing

"I thought.." But I really didn't have a great excuse, not now anyway

"You thought what Bella? That I was just some jerk that would have turned you away? That I wouldn't have been there for you? Fuck! I was there for you, once I knew and it wasn't even my damn baby, but it was and you lied to me over and over. I can never trust you again, you do realize this!" His pitch beginning to gain the attention of spectators.

"Maybe we should discuss this elsewhere, before the paparazzi show up. Last thing we need is a scandal. Please." My tears were flowing like rivers now

"Fine,, lets go." He drags me by my hand toward the service elevator, past the worried eyes of my friends and my sweet little boy.

Masen ran toward us and smacked Edward in the leg.

"Let go of my mommy!" He demanded

Edward spun around and was about to swat him away, but he was suddenly frozen in his place. He just stared at my little boy, no our little boy in wonder. I looked at Edward's face and I could see the tears falling. He let go of my wrist and picked Masen up in his arms, embracing him tightly to his chest. Murmuring I love you's into his hair over and over, telling him how special he was to him.

"I love you too Edward." Masen held Edward's face in his hands

"You said guys don't cry like chicks." I almost busted out laughing at Masen's concern

Edward began to laugh too while his teardrops fell over his lips.

"Sometimes guys cry like chicks Mase." He laughed even louder, clinging to the boy for dear life

"Okay, Edward, you are suffocating me." Masen squirmed away

"Sorry buddy, I just love you so much man." Edward placed him down on the ground and wiped the tears from his eyes.

I had seen Edward cry once, when we were 15 and his grandma had passed away. Now I had been the cause. I was very ashamed of myself. We stood there awkwardly. Edward pushed the button of the elevator and gestured for me to step in.

The ride to his room was quiet and I wondered where Tanya was this whole time. We entered his room and he slammed the door, I guess he was still pissed. I turned to face him and he sat on the chair with his head in his hands.

I sat down in the chair opposite of him. His breathing was heavy and I almost thought he might have a heart attack.

Edward I .." But he glared at me and I closed my mouth

"Let me say what I need to say, then feel free to respond. I can't believe you lied to me for the last seven years. I trusted you more than I ever trusted anyone. Who knows what else you been lying about. A baby Bella seriously? I mean sometimes I thought I saw glimpses of myself in him, but it was just me being hopeful. But to find out he was always mine, I don't know what to say to you." He hung his head

"I came looking for you, the day after jasper's party. I thought you finally,but I find Lauren on her knees infront of you, I just couldn't. Then I found out I was pregnant, Jasper insisted I tell you,but.." His head shot up

"Jasper knew?" His face bewildered

I bit my lip and nodded yes. His hands ran through his hair and he slouched back into the chair, staring at the ceiling.

"Who else?" His eyes never looking away from the ceiling

"Just Jasper and Rose knew he was yours, and Alice." I could feel dread over take me

He gave a slight nod of his head. His face was bright red and he didn't speak another word for a few minutes. I waited him out.

"Lauren was begging me to take her back. That's what you saw." He finally spoke

"I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." I tried it relax myself

"You were always good for that back then." He gave a small smile, but then the frown reappeared

"I guess I was." I agreed

"I remember you know, that night." He looked at me crippled

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Now I was the one who felt cheated

"I didn't think it was real. I thought it was just a dream. It was always foggy. It would be something simple you would do or say and my mind drifted to it. I thought it was just a fantasy, but I knew I'd never have you that way." His body shook

"You wanted me?" A stampede of emotion hit me

"I almost told you a million times, but you never seemed interested enough. Then I met Tanya. She gave me the attention I craved from you and much more, I forgot about those feelings." He shrugged

"So what happens now?" Tormented feelings began to twist at my heart

"Masen wanted me to be his father and looks like he gets what he wants. Has for you, you're fired."

**Okay my loves I apologize for any mistakes, I do try to look through and correct what ever I see, but I'm no beta, I just write lol. Tell me what you think and I love all who review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well I can't say enough how much the love you gave last chapter, it just blew me away. I am big on the cliffee's if you haven't already picked up on that, it makes for interesting reading material. Yes Edward fired Bella for real, read on to find out more... Children are the most forgiving and accepting people in this world. Trust their judgment, they know better than us...**

**Chapter 5**

I sat there frozen, stoned face. I had no response to that. Did I hear him correctly? Did he just fire me?

"Did you just fire me?" I asked dumbfounded

"I can no longer trust you Bella, how do you expect me to work with you everyday? How am I supposed to explain this to my parents? And poor Masen, god do you ever think before you do!" His enraged voice grew a few octaves.

"Just let me explain, okay?" I was trying to calm him down

"Please explain, this should be good." He crossed his arms giving me a stormy glare has he sat back in his chair

"I was 17 years old Edward, I was scared to death. You were finally getting your big break, hell you didn't even remember having sex with me. How do you think that made me feel? I was devastated. How was I suppose to explain that I was pregnant by you when you didn't even realize we had sex!" I was finally feeling it.

I was allowing myself to feel the anger and the betrayal I felt for him not remembering, for not being there when I needed him. For just not wanting me.

"Bella if I had known, I would have been there for you. Fuck my career, I would have never abandoned you, but you never let me even attempt, you had it all figured out. Exactly what was your plan for all of this? All those times we talked about it, how my heart just broke for you, how I wanted to kill that guy. To find out it was me all this time? How you straight up and down lied to my face." He looked at the ground

"I'm sorry, okay? You're right I should have told you, I should have been honest, but I can't change that now. I can't pretend it never happened. All I can do now is figure out where we go from here." The tears pouring down my face again

"So that's it, your sorry?" He said demoralized

"What do you expect me to say?" I began to rub my aching forehead

"Did you love me?" His voice so small

It caught my attention. My head shot up to stare at his sad green eyes. Yes I love him, more than words could ever say, did he not already know?

"Of course I loved you Edward." I was surprised he had to ask

"Why did you keep him?" He seemed foreboded

"I couldn't get an abortion, believe me Rose tried to talk me into it, I just couldn't." I knew my words were meek, but so much truth held in them.

How could I get rid of the only thing that ever linked me to the one person I truly loved? The one person I believed was meant for me?

"How are we going to explain this to him?" Edward asked exasperated

"I don't know." I began to chew my finger nails

"I can't believe Jazz knew and never said anything." Edward's faced twisted painfully

"He wanted to, believe me, but I made him swear not to." Guilt was digging in my stomach at this point. What had I just started?

"He's one of my best friends, I can't believe he never said a word. I had a fucking kid and he never said a god damn word. What kind of friend does that!" His anger starting again

"The kind that didn't want this to happen." I motioned between the two of us

"I need to talk to everyone, now! Get them all up here. Masen can hang out with Alice. We are having a band meeting." He stood up from his chair and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door

I pulled my phone from my pocket, shooting a text to everyone, letting them know they needed to come upstairs. I took the opportunity to go in the hallway to call Jasper. He picked up on the second ring.

"What the hell is going on? I just talked to Alice, she said Edward dragged you across the damn hotel!" Jasper's frantic voice came from the other end of the phone

"He knows Jasper." I sighed

"Oh no, how did he take it?" His voice full of concern

"Not good, he fired me."

"Aw Bella, I'm sorry, I don't really know what to say."

"I'm just calling to warn you, he knows you knew. Can you just ask Alice to take Masen for some ice cream or something. If anyone else is around you, please, tell them to come to Edward's room."

"Sure, Bells, don't worry about anything, okay? I got your back." Jasper was always too much of a gentlemen for his own good

"Something tells me, you can't fix this one." I closed the phone and turned back to Edward's room.

He was still in the bathroom and I was kind of happy about it considering all his anger was toward me at the moment. A few minutes later, everyone came into the room. Once Edward heard the noise of our friends, he retreated from the bathroom, looking eerily calm.

Everyone took a seat where they could find one while Edward stood infront of us all. Jasper sat on the arm of my chair, holding my hand.

"How does one begin a conversation like this? Bella, maybe you want to do the honors?" Edward's tone sarcastic

"Can I talk to my brother in private first?" I shot an evil eye to Edward

"Why? It seems like he's the only one in here that doesn't know. Let's stop with all the secrets and lies, shall we?" Edward said insensitively

"What am I missing?" Emmett said uneasy

"Bella?" Edward gestured

"Edward fired me." I bobbed my head

"What?" Emmett was pissed

"Why don't you tell him." Edward's lips forming a hard line

"Edward, not like this." I pleaded

"Oh so the way I found out is okay, but not for your own brother to!" Edward laughed sarcastically

"What the fuck is going on. Someone better tell me now!" Emmett roared

"Edward got your sister pregnant seven years ago and he just found out today." Rose blurted out

If I never thought it was possible, it was definitely was today. My brother's face went completely white. He was so pale he could pass for a ghost. He sat there unmoving, unblinking. He just stared into space.

"That was my exact reaction." Edward threw his hands up in the air

"Baby, say something." Rose snapped her fingers in his face, but he was unresponsive.

"I can't believe this." Emmett whispered to himself

Finally he was coming to life again.

"What do you mean, he only just found out? Are you telling me, he's been Masen's father all along and he never knew?" Emmett's eyes shot over to me.

"Your sister here, never bothered to tell me Masen was mine. All this time." Edward let out a tired breathe.

"I had no idea you two even hooked up." Emmett said disbelieving

"Lauren drugged him graduation night." I felt the shame radiating off of me

"Everyone in this room knew, even Alice knows, but not you and me Emmett, we are the only we didn't seem important enough to tell." Edward shook his head

The look Emmett gave me was one I never wanted to see again. He looked disappointed, more disappointed than when he found out I was pregnant. I put my head in my hands and began to cry. I felt Jasper wrap his arm around me, trying to soothe me.

"I'm going to be sick." Emmett stood up and grabbed Rose's hand, leading them out he door

"Emmett wait!" I yelled running into the hallway to where my brother was.

"Bella, please, if you know what's good for you, you will let me walk away right now." His tone harsh

"You do not get the right to be mad at me!" I screamed

"Excuse me?" His blue eyes turning dark

"Edward, yes he gets to be upset with me, he is the one who got hurt the most from all of this, but you, you don't get the right to be mad at me."

"I don't! It seems everyone knew, but me. Jasper knew, Rose knew, fuck, even Alice knows! I'm your fucking brother Bella and you didn't even tell me! How do you think mom and dad are going to deal with this?" He gestured his hands out at me

"They will be fine with it, you need to grow up and let it go." I protested

"You know something, I agree, you are fired, I don't want you to be our manager anymore." He gave me a snide look and pulled Rose by the arm to their room.

I felt destroyed. My brother just abandoned me. He sided with his friend, not his sister. What did this mean for us? My phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I slipped it out to see who was calling and it was Alice. The mood I was in right now, I would have hit ignore, but Masen was with her, I needed to answer.

"Hello?" I tried to have a nice even tone

"Mommy, I got a belly ache, I want you." Masen cried

"Okay, baby, are you in auntie Alice's room?" I was biting back tears

"Yes, mommy, I want Edward." His sobs began to grow louder

Not what I needed right now.

"Masen, I think he is busy. I will be right there okay?"

"Please mommy, Edward knows how to make my belly better."

"Masen sweetie, Edward's not feeling good right now. I will make you that tea you like. Just give me a few minutes okay?"

"Okay." His sad little tone broke my heart

"Bella?" Alice's worried voice came on the line

"I'll be right to get him, just let me tell Jasper."

"Okay." Her voice sad too

I hung up and opened Edward's door to find Jasper and him having an intense conversation. They both turned to look at me.

"Masen isn't feeling well, I need to go to him. Can we finish this later when we all have had time to think rationally." I said feeling exhausted

"What's wrong with him?" Edward asked anxiously

"Belly ache." I muttered

"And he didn't ask for me? He always asks for me when he doesn't feel well." Edward sounded dejected

"He did ask for you, I just didn't think you wanted to deal with him right now." I felt uneasy

"Bella, no matter what state I may or may not be in, I will never deny him anything." He pushed past me into the hallway

Jasper and I followed suit. Alice was in her room, trying to sooth Masen. He was laying on her bed sobbing into the pillow. Edward sat on the bed next to him.

"Hey buddy, you okay?" Edward leaned down to rub his face

"My tummy hurt Edward, make it better." Masen cried

"No problem buddy, come here." Edward picked him up and carried him out of the room.

Before he exited out of Alice and Jasper's suite, he turned to me.

"Bella, you should come too." He nodded slightly and walked out the door

I followed behind them. We walked to my suite and Edward carried Masen into his bedroom. I went into the small kitchen and boiled a pot of tea. I could hear Edward talking to Masen. I put the tea on a tray with some crackers. I hesitated outside the door, listening to them speak.

"I got talk to you about something important. How would you feel if I was really your dad?" Edward's voice soft

"You are my daddy in my heart Edward." Masen's sweet voice replied

I interrupted whatever they were about to say next. He wanted him to know, we needed to do this together. Edward turned to look at me, looking almost annoyed that I entered the room. I placed the tray down on the night stand poured the tea into a cup for Masen.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" I asked pushing the hair from his eyes

"I'm better mommy, Edward sang to me, it always makes me feel better." He smiled, blowing at the hot tea

"I'm glad Edward made it better. Um baby, there is something we need to talk to you about." I glanced at Edward

"Okay, I'm listening." He sipped his tea

"Masen you know how you wished for Edward to be your daddy for your birthday." I waited for him to reply. He placed his tea cup down on the tray.

"Yup." He popped the P with his lips

"Well what if I told you, that he really is your daddy?" I bit my lip looking between the two of them

"That would be the best-est thing ever!" Masen shouted, jumping up and down on the bed

Edward smiled slightly, looking almost thoughtful.

"We he is Masen, your daddy." I swallowed

"Is it true Edward?" Masen's expression was wonderous

Edward looked at me then back at Masen. "Its true little buddy." Edward smiled brightly at our son

"Oh my god, this is like the greatest day of my life!" Masen yelled excitedly. He jumped on top of Edward, jolting him backwards on the bed. They both laughed and giggled

I smiled, feeling like I was foolish for keeping them apart for so long. I excused myself from the room and took the teat tray. I began to clean up the hotel room. It was well past 10pm. Edward had spent the majority of the evening in Masen's room.

I opened the door, just to peek in on them, only to find Masen fast asleep against Edward's chest. Edward was reading him a book and they both must have dozed off. I didn't want to disturb the moment, but I also was still pretty pissed with him.

I walked in and placed a blanket over them. Edward stirred opening his eyes.

"What time is it?" His groggy voice asked

"A little after ten." I whispered

"Damn, I need to go, Tanya's probably freaking out." He tried to move Masen off his body without waking him.

"I think we need to talk more." I folded my hands over my chest

"Not tonight Bella, I don't have anymore energy to argue with you." His irritation evident

"Then when Edward?" I said bitterly

"Not tonight." He moved past me into the living room

I followed behind him.

"Then when? Apparently I no longer have a job, so where does that leave us." I waited for his response

"I'm not waking him up with our arguing. Give me some time to adjust to this, until then, I just want you to leave me alone." He glared and walked out of the room.

I sat on the couch, wanting to cry for the rest of the night, but I needed to be stronger. He stayed here with Masen, that should tell me something. He doesn't resent his son. He just hates me now. I could live with that, I had to live with that.

I saw a text from Rose on my phone telling me she would call me around 11.

"He hates me doesn't he?" I asked Rose while I fiddled with a string on my blanket

"He doesn't hate you, he's just upset. If it makes you feel any better, he's mad at me too." She laughed

"It makes me feel a little better." I laughed through my sobs

"Good. I got your back in this Bella. I get why you did it now. We are here for you no matter what." She was always the reassuring one of the group

"Thanks Rose, I need to get some sleep, I love you, tell Emmett I'm sorry." I sighed

"I love you too and I will." With that she hung up the phone

I had nightmares of Edward trying to take Masen away from me. He made Tanya Masen's mother and he hated me. I woke up in a cold sweat and jumped off the bed to check on Masen. He was laying on his stomach on his bed with his hands under his chin eating a bowl of cereal watching cartoons. I sighed in relief and sat down on the bed next to him.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked smoothing his hair away from his forehead

"I feel better mommy. Daddy sang me a song, it always makes me feel better." Masen spoke without missing a beat.

The word Daddy came out of his mouth so natural, so easy like he had uttered it a million times. He was easily accepting of the situation, it kind of made my heart ache.

"What song did daddy sing to you?" I tried to restrain the urge to cry

"Its a secret the songs." Masen winked at me

I laughed at him and pinched his chubby cheeks.

"You better finish up your cereal okay? We got a lot to do today." I smiled kissing his forehead

"Momma?" Masen called

"Yes baby?" I stood in the door way

"Does this mean daddy will marry you and not Aunt Tanya?" He asked hopeful

"Um Masen, why would you think I would marry Edward?" Even though it came crashing down on me at the moment

"Because mommy's and daddy's are supposed to be together with their kids. We are a family." He smiled like it explained everything.

"No Masen, I think you need to talk to Edward about that." I nodded and walked out before I became hysterical.

Not even five seconds into the living room there was a knock on the door. I walked to the door to check the peephole to see a disheveled Edward standing in the hall way. Reluctantly I opened the door.

"What do you want Edward?" I stood holding one hand on my hip

"I just wanted to see if Masen wanted to have breakfast with me." He stood with his hands in his pockets

"He already ate and aren't you the same guy that said you needed space." I spat

"I just want to spend time with _my_ son, is that alright with you." His voice agitated

"Actually, its not alright with me. I have plans for him today that don't include you." I glared at him

"Come on Bella, you don't get to be angry, I do. You have taken this away from me, its not fair."

"You know whats not fair Edward, having to answer questions that I have no idea how to answer. To explain to my seven year old why his father isn't married to his mother." The words came tumbling out.

The obvious shocked expression on Edward's face at my rambles confirmed how insane I felt.

"What are you talking about?"

"He asked me since you are his daddy, does that mean you and me are getting married." I sighed

Edward stood there with a blank expression, showing absolutely no emotion.

"Daddy!" Masen's cheerful voice took us both out of our musings

"Hey buddy." Edward's smile grew as he held his arms out to Masen to pick him up for a hug

"So what is this business mommy is talking about you wanting us to get married. You know I'm marrying Tanya." He kissed Masen's cheek

I just rolled my eyes. Very nonchalant Cullen

"Mommy's and daddy's get married." Masen was resolved to this answer

"Well buddy sometimes mom's and dad's aren't together, like your mom and me. I'm with Tanya and your mom's with um, Damon." Edward spoke Softly

"You mean Demetri." Masen corrected

I bit my lip from laughing

"Yes him." Edward said through tight lips

That caught me off guard, but I didn't say a word

"I like Demetri, he tells mommy she is beautiful and he has a daughter who is the same age as me." Masen gave a big toothy grin

"Does he?" Edward mumbled

"Yes she is very nice, she plays wrestling with me." Masen hugged Edward around the neck

"Why don't you go change so I can talk to mommy for a minute, okay?" Edward smiled

"Okay." Masen jumped out of Edward's arms and ran to his room.

Edward racked his hand through his messy hair. I noticed the dark bags under his eyes and his exhausted face.

"You look terrible." I blurted out

"Well I didn't sleep well. Tanya didn't take the news as good as I did about Masen." He plopped down on the couch

I looked at the couch remembering only two nights ago Demetri and I had made love there. Having Edward sitting in the spot that I had done dirty things with someone else, well it made me blush.

"You call what happened yesterday taking it well?" I said sarcastically

"Tanya almost left me." He sighed leaning his head back

"Yea like that's such a pity." I mumbled

"What is your problem with her? I get it, she gives you a lot of attitude, but seriously, she is good to me. You need to fucking accept that already." He stood up and went for the door

"Go to Florida for a while Bella, get your shit right, then come back. I can't stand looking at you right now." He gave me an unnerving look and stormed out of the hotel room.

I couldn't respond, I was stuck in my place, how dare he? Who did he think he was! Before yesterday, we never fought, not anything that couldn't be resolved 15 minutes later. This was different. He wasn't getting over it, he was going to hang me every chance he got.

"Masen, pack your stuff, we are going to Forks!"

**Okay not as long as last chapter but I figure you could enjoy it just the same. The love for the last one wow, amazing, I don't know what to say! I hope you give me just as much love as possible this time also. See I got this out 5 minutes before I had to go to work! I apologize for any errors, I'm unbeta'ed**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the amount of love you all showed me last chapter, its amazing! I'm a single mom of two kids and its never easy protecting them from things you don't want to hurt them. Its easy for kids to accept situation far better than adults. My son met his father for the first time when he was 8 years old and he called him daddy immediately because it was something he was craving to have. Anyways, please don't hate Edward too much! I'm unbeta'ed, so I apologize for the errors!**

**Chapter 6**

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I mean I could stay with my parents, its would be totally fine." Rose asked holding my hand.

I was going to Forks. There were a lot of people there I needed to talk to and make things right with, especially Edward's parents. I had to do this for Masen, I had cheated him of so much already and since I was newly unemployed, I had the time.

"No Rose, go be with your husband. I have to do this myself." I pulled her into a tight squeeze

"Well just call me when you get there okay?" She smiled with tears running down her cheeks.

"I will." I patted her hands and placed the rest of my luggage in the back of the rental car.

It had been a few days since Edward and I spoke. The day he told me to get it together. Emmett wasn't speaking to me either, both thought I wasn't worth the words. It hurt, I won't deny that, but I wasn't going to feel like the bad guy, even if I was.

Masen was saying his goodbye's to Edward and the rest of the gang.

"Daddy, aren't you going to say goodbye to mommy?" Masen asked pulling Edward toward me

I could see Tanya glaring at me with her arms crossed, as she leaned against the tour bus.

"It's okay, Masen, we already said goodbye." I gave Edward a small smile

"Have a safe trip." he nodded and hugged Masen

He walked toward Tanya and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. I wanted to throw up. I was sure it was for my benefit. However she was disgusting doing something like that infront of a seven year old.

We arrived in Forks about two hours later. My parents still had their house ,unable to part with it, so Masen and I were going to take up residency there. It was around 4pm when we settled in and Masen was running around with an airplane through the house.

"Masen what do you want for dinner?" I asked unpacking all the groceries into the fridge

"Spaghetti mommy!" He said excitedly

"Spaghetti it is." I ruffled his hair as he ran past

We ate dinner and I was about to start him a bath when someone knocked on the front door. I opened it to find Esme standing with a pie in her hands. I didn't really expect to see her so soon or more like be confronted so soon.

"Hi Bella, I um wanted to come by and say hello. I brought apple pie." Esme offered it with hesitation

"Come on in." I moved out of the way so she could enter

She walked toward the kitchen and placed the pie on the counter. She looked lovely in a cream colored pant suit with her hair swept over her shoulder. She took a seat at the kitchen table and gave me an uneasy smile.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked taking the chair across from her

"Oh your mother called. She just wanted me to make sure you had everything you needed, do you?' Esme asked hopefully

"I think we are good. We're not staying long, just a week or two. Masen as to go to school and all." I gave the same uneasy look to her

"Edward told me.."

I'm sorry I didn't.."

We both spoke at the same time experiencing the same awkwardness.

"Bella." Esme picked up my hands and placed them in hers

"Esme, please, let me get this out before you say anything. I feel like the worst person on earth, never telling Edward and I just really didn't think about all the lives I was ruining, I was only thinking about Masen and I wanted to protect him, but I have done the exact opposite, haven't I ? I have done more damage than I can fix." I began to cry

"You're not a bad person for what you did. You didn't ruin anyone's life I understand." She patted my hands and hugged me

"You do?" I said sobbing like a fool

"I do." She gave me a genuine smile

"You had a baby when you were so young, you didn't know what to do or who to turn to and after keeping it a secret for so long, you didn't know how to explain it. I understand, being a mother, you want to do all you can to protect your child from wrong doing. Edward may be upset about how he found out, but believe me, Masen was every bit of his son the last seven years as he is now, knowing he really is the father. I always had a feeling about it." Esme gave me a sad smile

"You're not mad at me?" I wiped my eyes violently

"Of course not dear." Esme rubbed my cheek

"Bella, I have known you since you were a little girl. My Edward always adored you. It hurt him a lot when he found out you were pregnant and to think it was his all along. I won't ask why you kept it from him or anything like that, its not my business. I just want the two of you to be happy. I want Masen to be happy."

"You're so much nicer than I deserve." I laughed through my sobs

"I wish you had trusted me enough then to come to me." Esme leaned her forehead to mine

"To come to us." I looked up to see Carlisle's blue eyes sparkling down at me holding his grandson in his hands.

I hadn't even heard him come in the house.

"We all love you Bella, we would have accepting this, no matter what." Carlisle smiled tickling Masen's belly

"Mommy why are you crying?" Masen looked down at me with concern

"I'm just happy baby." I pulled on his foot

"Daddy cries when he's happy too. Grown ups are so weird." Masen shook his head and we all laughed

Later that night after the Cullen's left, promising to return tomorrow, I called my parents. It was time to tell them before Emmett opened his big mouth and told them. He was a real momma's boy. The phone rang about 3 times before Charlie's rough voice picked up the phone.

"Hello Sean residency." His voice thick with sleep

"Hey dad, its Bella, where's mom?"

"She's right here, something wrong?" I could hear some shuffle.

"Can you put it on speaker phone." I gulped

I told them the story, the edited version of course. My parents where the best through all of this. They never judged me when I got pregnant or ever showed their disappointment. They just simply supported me. After I finished the whole story, there was a deafening silence on the other end.

"Hello?" I said feeling like maybe they hung up

"Well, that's, um, we kind of figured." Dad's voice surprising me the most

"What?" I asked out of surprise

"Well I mean Bella, Masen looks exactly like Edward when he was that small. We just kind of figured you and him didn't like talking about it, so we never brought it up." Dad grumbled

"Mom brought it up every chance she got!" I shouted

"Well, you know she is just nosy." Dad laughed

"So you're not mad at me?"

"Baby, we love you and we just so happen to love Edward too, so no we're not mad." Mom's sweet voice sighed from the other end

"Emmett hates me you know." I slouched into my pillow

"He doesn't hate you. You and him have shared everything bells, he's just hurt you didn't talk to him about this and it really wasn't fair how he had to find out." Mom scolded

"Well its done now, he just needs to accept it." I huffed

"With time, he will. Now go to bed sweetheart and tell my grandson I love him." With that she disconnected the call.

I exhaled dramatically as my head fell back against the pillows. Sleep found me easy.

"Bella we need to talk." Edward's voice was stern in my ear

"Okay." I timidly sat down on the couch next to him

"Tanya's pregnant. She wants to move the wedding date up." His green eyes blazed into me

I couldn't really process the news. Tanya? Pregnant? I never really gave that any thought. We all thought of hid engagement to that awful bitch as a joke, as something he would grow tired of, like he did of everything else.

"How soon?" I stuttered

"Saturday. We are getting married Saturday and I would like you to be my best woman, instead of best man." He smiled taking my hand in his

I pulled my hand quickly away from him and looked at him perplexed.

"I can't do that Edward."

"Why not?" He smiled

"Because she is wrong for you. She is all wrong for you." I could feel my body shaking

"Oh really? So what, you think you are right for me?" He laughed

"I'm the perfect girl for you." I felt the bubbling of tears

"No Bella, you're wrong, you're not the right girl for me. There is nothing good about you, you're nothing to me and soon when I marry Tanya, Masen will live with us and forget you too. Nobody wants you, not even your own son." He began to cackle loudly, almost falling to his knees

I shot up from my bed in a cold sweat. I was still in Forks and it was still dark out. I was only dreaming, it wasn't real. I stared up at the ceiling. I was being ridiculous with this whole situation. Edward made his decision. He didn't want to be friends anymore, he wanted no part of my life.

I picked my phone up off the night stand where I had silenced it. I had two missed calls from Demetri. It was around 1 am in Florida right now, but I didn't think Demetri would mind. I told him everything and he was more understanding than I deserved.

"Hey." His groggy voice came from the other end of the receiver

"Did I wake you?" I asked feeling bad that I knew I had

"Its okay Bella, I don't mind. How are you holding up?"

"I told Edward's parents, they took it pretty well." I exhaled a nervous laugh

"I had no doubt they would. How are you though?" The genuine concern in his tone

"I'm alright, just miss you." But did I really?

"I miss you too. I hope this new freedom you have found means we can spend more time together."

His statement caught me off guard. Was this freedom? Is this really something I wanted to give up? I wasn't sure.

"We'll see, I got a lot to figure out right now." I sighed

"Hey I understand, but you know I'm here when you are ready." I could hear the smile in his voice

We talked for a while longer, but I knew he had to get up for work in a few hours, so I allowed him to go back to bed and I tried to do the same.

Esme stopped by every morning for the twoweeka, bringing food or cooking it. Edward hadn't called me at all, but kept tabs on Masen through Esme and Carlisle. It hurt I won't lie but I knew how crazy tour time was for him. Esme would come by each night before Masen would go to sleep so he could speak to Edward. He really did hate me.

I was packing up the last of my belongings, preparing to head back to South Beach, to return to my real home. Esme was helping me fold clothes into a suitcase, when she rested her hands on top of mine.

"Don't go Bella please. I've lost so much time with my grandson, I'm not ready for you to go." I could see tears in her green eyes

"Esme, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but we have to get back to Florida, Masen as to start school and he has a whole life there." My heart broke telling her this. I had taken so much away from her.

"He could go to school here and.." She trailed off

"You can visit him anytime, I promise. I will have him call you and everything. I don't want to deny you the chance to be in his life a second time." I hugged her

"I just love you both so much, I just wish things were different." She pulled me down to sit on the bed

"I'm really sorry." I leaned my head against her shoulder

"I don't like that Tanya girl. She is so wrong for him." Esme gave me a smile grin

"I thought you liked her, does Edward know how you feel?" I questioned

"No, I mean, I'm sure he suspects something, but I love him and I just want him to be happy. She is who he chose, but if I had to choose for him, it would not be her." Esme laughed

"I think you should tell him." I pointed my finger at her

"Aw Bella darling, he's a grown man and smart enough to make his own decisions. I won't lie to him if he asks me how I truly feel, but he hasn't. He says he loves her, what am I to do?" She gave me a sad smile

"I guess you're right." I mumbled

"I know I am." She pats my hand and stands up

"I'll you miss you." I smile

"We'll come visit soon. Here." She hands me a DVD case.

I give her a questionable look, but she shakes her head

"Its something I'd like you to see Edward made it along time ago, before all the fame." She kissed my cheek and disappeared out of the room.

I shrugged and tucked into my overnight bag. Carlisle dropped us off at the airport and promised to visit soon. It was a night flight and Masen was already passed out in his first class seat. I pulled my portable DVD player out when the DVD Esme handed me earlier fell to the floor.

I picked it up and placed it inside the portable DVD player. My eyes were immediately assaulted with bronze hair and green eyes. IT was an old video of Edward an the guys practicing in the boat house.

I remembered this, I was the one video taping it. The scenes crashed in and out. It was skipping from different times, like a little was recorded at a time. About 20 minutes into watching, something caught my eye. Edward and I had entered a Karaoke Contest at a local bar, we did a duet.

"You need to live a little Bella, it will be fun. Even if you suck, you know I will totally rock." Edward teased as I jumped up and down nervously back stage .

"I'm just scared, what if they laugh at me. What if Emmett picks a really lame song." I groaned

"Its called fun, try it some time." Edward shook his head

I just glared at him and he laughed.

"Do you trust me?" He smiled holding out his hand

"No!" I pouted crossing my arms over my chest

This was an easy time, a time before we had sex and a time before I had a baby by this beautiful man. We were just enjoying life, enjoying being young.

"Next up is Edward and Bella." The announcer boomed from the stage behind the curtain

"I can't Edward." I could feel my eyes beginning to sting with tears

"I'm here for you, always, even if you mess up, just follow my lead, okay" Edward placed his hands on my shoulder as he said this looking me deep in the yes.

"Okay." I nodded and he kissed my forehead, pulling me onto the stage.

"Song selection is Separate lives by Phil Collins." The man with the dark hair standing infront of the stage announced.

He positioned a mic infront of me and Edward adjusted it. He gave me a breath taking smile and wink. I knew this song, I could do this. I had Edward with me, I could do anything as long as he was here with me.

**(Edward )**

You called me from the room in your hotel  
All full of romance for someone that you met  
And telling me how sorry you were, leaving so soon  
And that you miss me sometimes when you're alone in your room  
Do I feel lonely too?  
**(Both)**  
You have no right to ask me how I feel  
You have no right to speak to me so kind  
I can't go on just holding on to time  
Now that we're living separate lives

**(Bella)**

Well I held on to let you go  
And if you lost your love for me, well you never let it show  
There was no way to compromise  
So now we're living (living)  
Separate lives  
**(Edward)**  
Ooh, it's so typical, love leads to isolation  
**(BOTH)**

So you build that wall (build that wall)  
Yes, you build that wall (build that wall)  
And you make it stronger  
Well you have no right to ask me how I feel  
You have no right to speak to me so kind  
Some day I might (I might) find myself looking in your eyes  
**(Edward)**

But for now, we'll go on living separate lives  
(**Bella)**

Yes for now, we'll go on living separate lives  
**(Both)**

Separate lives...

The intensity that trickled between us as we sang was electrifying in its self. I mean we were so young, we didn't understand what this was supposed to mean. But the way he looked at me at the end, I felt the pain of the song and I could he did too, even if the moment was only a three minute duet, it was the most substantial of my life so far.

"Mommy we're here." Masen tugged on my arm

I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. Nor did I realize the single tear that slid down my face.

"Put your seat belt on Masen." I swiped the tear away, adjusting my belt for landing.

I wasn't sure why Esme gave me that DVD or even if Edward still knew it existed. I wasn't sure of a lot of things. The only thing I was sure of was that Edward was the man I love and the man I needed to love me...

**Well what did you think of this chapter? I'm sorry if its not exciting like the rest, but we are building, I love your thoughts, they mean so much and if I failed to any any of your reviews, believe me it wasn't intentional, just got real life kicking my ass!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for reviewing, alerting, just everything! Those of you that read my other stories, I've just had some writers block, but I have been writing, update soon with Black Silk Tie,my only beta'ed story. Well I thought maybe it was only fair to give you all an Edward POV on everything! So enjoy! I apologize for any errors! It may seem all over the place but I'm trying to catch everyone up with him and what as transpired thought out the story. I will not retell certain parts, like I'm known to do from both sides, but I will let you in his head, so tell me what you think.**

**Chapter 7**

_I hated her. That was the only emotion I could describe at this moment. The one person on this earth that I trusted had deceived me. It wasn't like, oh she ruined my favorite shirt by burning a hole in it with the iron or crashing my Lamborghini. No she led me to believe for 7 years that the child that I adored, belonged to someone else when the whole time he was mine._

_So many things ran in my mind. How could she do this to me? So many times I had wished for her, to be with her, but now? Did I still feel the same way? How could I? _

_There was Masen to think about. He was innocent in all of this. I couldn't punish him for his mother's poor decisions. I could understand being scared, but it was a whole other thing to just believe I wouldn't be good enough to be a father to my own child. How didn't I see it? Why didn't I see it?_

**Flashback**

I watched the clock on the wall turn from 12:15pm to 12:16pm. I was sitting in my room lounging on my bed. Emmett would be home from Arizona any minute,. I had so much to tell him. I had kissed Irina in the boathouse forth of July. She wasn't a very good kisser, not that I knew, she was my first.

The loud banging on the door downstairs took me out of my thoughts and I hopped off the bed and headed for the first floor. I flung open the front door to find Emmett and the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

"Dude, look at you! You got so fucking tall." Emmett's loud deep voice made me jump

"Your voice and damn you are like a the size of a line backer, what happened ? Did you eat someone whole?" I really took a good look at him. Emmett got huge in both height and weight.

"Alot changes in a couple months." Emmett shrugged, shoving me aside heading for the kitchen

"Hey Edward." Bella's soft voice spoke my name and I never heard a sound sweeter

It was like I was seeing her for the first time, I mean really seeing her. How did I never notice how shiny her brown eyes were or how lovely her face was? When she left in June she was awkward looking. Too shiny, flat chested, braces.

Now she was peaking from under clothes and teeth were pearly white and straight. Her body was curvy in the right places making her sun dress cling in the right places. She was so enjoyable to look at.

"You look different." Was all I could say, but it seemed to make her blush

"Well grams thought it was time to get the braces off, it feels weird though." She laughed nervously

"I like it." I blurted out

"You do?" Her face lighting up

"Yea I do." I smiled

Emmett came strolling back in the living room with a sandwich in his hands.

"Dude so what was it like kissing Irina? Did she use tongue?" Emmett wagged his eyebrows taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I saw Bella's face change from happy to upset and I wanted to clobber Emmett in that moment. His timing for everything sucked.

"You kissed Irina?" Bella's shaking voice forced out

"Yea, but it was.."

"She is like the fucking hottest girl in this town, you are so lucky." Emmett patted my back

"I should go see if Rose is home." Bella scattered away, almost tripping down my stairs

"Was it really necessary to bring her up in front of your sister man?" I chastised Emmett

"Oh please. Bella's one of the guys, she doesn't care." Emmett swatted his hand toward the direction Bella had run off to.

I just rolled my eyes. We spent the rest of the day playing basketball and talking about our summers. It was around 7 when I decided to go down to my parents boathouse. I saw a girl sitting on the edge of the dock, swaying her feet back and forth. She must have heard my feet on the dock because she immediately turned around, it was Bella.

"Hey." I gave her a small wave

"Hey." she waved back

I took a seat next to her removing my flip flops. She grinned and brought her attention back to the water. We sat silently for a few minutes

"How was your summer, I didn't get to ask you earlier." I dipped my toes into the cool water

"It was okay, I missed being here. You changed a lot, but not too much." She gave a small laugh

"I hope that's not a bad thing." I chuckled

"No, its not." She nodded

"Did you make any friends in Arizona?" I looked at her waiting for her answer

"Just a couple, but nobody worth mentioning. I'm not like you and Emmett, I don;t make friends easy. I didn't kiss anyone" She shrugged

I knew it bothered her, even if Emmett acted like he didn't notice.

"Irina and I only kissed one time, she was very bad, sloppy. She licked my cheek, it was so weird." I laughed

That gained me a smile and a giggle from her. I liked her giggle, there was something so cute about it.

"I'm glad to be back." She leaned over and hugged me.

**Flashback 2**

After many of our romps in the bed, Tanya propped her head up on one elbow and faced me with a wicked grin on her beautiful face.

"Let's get married." She said casually

"What?" I laughed softly

"Marry me Edward. I love you, you love me, lets just get married." She said confidently

"You're serious?" I looked at her with playful confusion

"Why not? It would be great for both our careers, don't you think?" Her voice bubbly

"First off, you don't love me, you love_ fucking_ me, there's a difference." I pointed a finger at her

"True I do love _fucking_ Edward Cullen, what woman wouldn't? But I do love you the man as well, flaws and all ,but according to me the only flaw you have is the people you choose to have around you." She leaned up, letting the sheet fall ,revealing her beautiful breasts

I instantly leaned over and sucked one of her nipples in my mouth.

" I love when you do that." She moaned throwing her head back

I had to admit, Tanya was amazing in bed. She did things with her body I didn't know a woman could do, but did I love her? That was up for debate. I cared about her, I loved to please her ,but did I want to marry her?

"Has much as I want you right now, you're distracting me." She stopped me from suckling her breast.

I sighed loudly, falling back into my pillows.

"Tanya you know I can't just marry you. Even if its good publicity, I don't feel that way about you." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"You could learn." She exhaled

"Can we just go to bed now please?" I didn't even wait for her reply, I turned the lamp off and closed my eyes.

Sweet dreams of 17 year old Bella filled my head. The dream was always the same, we dance, we kiss, and then we make love. It feels incredibly real, as if I have felt her so many times, but in reality, we never did anything. A simple hug that may have lingered a bit too long was all I could claim as my own.

The following morning we were packing for a talk show appearance in New York. Tanya was uncommonly quiet as we moved around the room, throwing various items in our suit cases.

"I don't know why we bother doing this. We should just buy new clothes when we get there. I hate packing." Tanya grumbled

"I doubt we will have time once we get there to shop, I don't really want to waste the money when I got plenty of good clothes I can take with me." I retorted zipping my last bag of stuff

"Edward you got more money then you will ever be able to spend, why not live a little." Tanya's tone very stoic

"What is your problem?" Sudden intolerance of her behavior taking over my senses

"I don't have a problem Edward, lets just get out of here." She huffed pulling her bag over her shoulder and brushing past me.

We landed in New York City about an hour later. Bella and the rest of the band were following behind while Alice chatted my ear off about how important this interview was for me and Andrew, Tanya's agent muttered the same to her.

I hadn't given any thought to the conversation I had with Tanya the night before. She seemed unaffected by it and I wasn't going to bring it back up. I was happy with how things were, why spoil it? Besides, the one I really wanted to be with was only a few feet away.

Has the make up girl prod and probed my face and clothes I watched Bella from the corner of my eye. She looked wonderful today. She had on a black pair of dress pants that fit tightly around her shapely behind and a white button down that clung to her perfect bosom. I wanted her, I needed her. Her brown hair fanned over her shoulders in simple locks while her brown eyes sparkled at she gazed at me.

She was talking adamantly on her phone. She was standing close enough that I could hear her sweet voice, but not close enough that I could make out what was being said. She was smiling and let out a innocent giggle. Whoever she was talking to was making her laugh. I wanted to be the one to make her laugh.

I could now make out her words, they were of affection for whoever she was speaking to.

"I miss you too. I look forward to dinner tonight, its been too long." She began to blush at whatever the person's response was.

I had no idea who she was talking to, but I suddenly felt jealous that they would be sharing a meal. I let the thought go when the make up girl announced she was finished with me. I thanked her and stepped in front of Bella. She quickly said goodbye and closed her phone. She looked me up and down and gave me a thumbs up for approval.

The stage guy called my name and I left her behind, like I had so many times, but then I realized, she seemed to always be there when I returned.

After performing a few songs, signing autographs and taking pictures, it was early evening in the city. Emmett and Rose made plans to keep it low key since Rose just found out she was pregnant. Jasper got up the nerve to ask Alice on a date and it left me with James, Tanya and her band.

Bella had left us in a hurry after the studio. I was disappointed that I couldn't find out where she was going or who she was going with. Bella hadn't been dating, at least I hadn't seen her with anyone. Was it fair for me to hope she hadn't? No, but I was a selfish prick.

"Hey I heard about this great spot downtown, its low key, nice good food." Tanya nodded enthusiastically.

"Hey whatever, I'm down." I shrugged.

We all agreed and headed to this spot called Cooper's Hunt. It was a nice place dim lighting, kind of a romantic place. The hostess recognized me immediately, but I told her I would pay double if she would keep it to herself.

We ordered our food and made idle chit chat until it arrived. I excused myself to use the bathroom. After relieving myself , I headed back toward the table until I heard that familiar giggle. I would know her laugh anywhere. I turn my head to see Bella sitting across from a young dark skinned young guy. They are angled in such a way I can see both their faces. They are both laughing and smiling.

They are just friends I tell myself, nothing to even worry about, but then he reaches across the table and moves a piece of hair from her face. She gives him a shy smile and I can see her blush even in the dim lighting.

He begins to rub her cheek and she lays her hand on top of his. His features shift from light and bubbly to deep and lustful. He leans over, about to go in for the kill. I want to look away. I need to look away, but I'm paralyzed to the spot, to the couple, to her face. She wants him to kiss her. She closes her eyes and leans into him.

There lips touch and its more than I can stomach, I have to look away now. I'm fuming, I can feel my anger bubbling inside of me. I want to rip that guy apart, but who am I? I'm wrong for feeling these things. How dare I feel these things! I have been flaunting Tanya in Bella's face for months, how can I be so hypocritical?

I take the seat next to Tanya. I fold and unfold my legs numerous amounts of times. Tanya is watching me, concern written in her beautiful features.

"Edward, are you alright? Tanya nudges me with her elbow

"let's do it." I blurt out

"Do what?" A curious expression lights up on her face

"Let's get married. Let's do it. It will be great for publicity, you're right, its the perfect idea. Win win." I give her a tight smile

"You're kidding right?" her eyes brows raise at me

"No, I'm not, if that's what you want to do, then we will do it. Are you in or are you out?" I give her a stern look

"I'm in, completely. Do I get a ring?" She laughs sitting back in her chair

"You get whatever you want." I gaze in the direction of the table where I know Bella is making out with that guy.

"So what do we tell our management and publicists?" Tanya asks

"Its real, we are in love, no telling them the truth." I picked up my drink and threw it back.

**Flashback Ends**

"You're what!" Bella screeched in the confines of my home office.

I had just announced to everyone about my engagement to Tanya. Fortunately for her, she was unable to attend due to a scheduled appearance in LA.

"I asked Tanya to marry me." I folded my arms over my chest as Bella paced the floor in front of me

"Edward, why?" She stopped and started staring at me

If I didn't know better I would swear I saw pain in her eyes. I saw something I never thought I would, it was love.

"I think she is good for me. Can't you be happy for me?" I threw my hands up in defeat

"How could you think I would be happy about this? Tanya is an awful person. She's rude to everyone, no respect for anything and thinks she is in a better position than she really is." Bella said irritated

"I'm not even defending that with answer. How dare you judge who I care about Bella. You don't run my life for me, its not up to you to decide who I can and can not date." My outrage was consuming me.

"That's not what I.." But her voice went low, almost to a whisper

She shook her head and walked out of the room, back by the others.

"I'm going home to my son, I will talk to the rest of you later." She mumbled grabbing her things and storming out of my condo.

I stuck my middle finger at the door as she slammed it shut. Now I was left to deal with Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rose.

"Well anyone else have an opinion about who I'm aloud to marry? Because I don't want to fucking hear it." I said agitated

"You're personal life is my business unfortunately, its everyone's involved. I however would much like to stay out of the drama if I can, being three months pregnant and all. If she makes you happy, then she makes you happy." Rose said smoothly and began to put on her coat

"How can you say that Rose? Tanya, dude really?" Emmett's voice made me look at him instead of glaring at his wife

"hey, I never said a word when all of you starting shacking up. I was happy for you all, why can't I get the same in return?" I glanced around at all their faces

"You can't even compare what Rose and I have isn't the same. She's been my girlfriend since we were 18, I'm 26 man, I think its not the same thing. Tanya is a bitch." Emmett shrugged

"So is Rose." I countered

"Yes but at least I don't make your friends suffer for it." Rose rolled her eyes and smirked at me.

"All of you just get out!" I grumbled

"Edward I just want you to be happy." Alice patted my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

"Jazz, could you stay for a minute." I yelled out to them as Jasper began to push Alice out the front door.

"Sure man. Alice, I'll call you sweetie, I love you." Jasper kissed his girl and then made his way back inside.

With a loud thump, he plopped on my leather couch, staring contently at me.

"You are one of my best friends, do you think I'm making a mistake?" I studied him carefully

"Edward, you make a lot of mistakes. I see through the bullshit. I know you don't love her, what is this really about?"

"Nothing I care about her, that's it." I glared at him

"I don't believe you, but whatever gets you to sleep at night. Listen man, you really should go talk to Bella, it may seem like she is over reacting, but she really cares about you, she is just surprised." He gave me a small grin

"I'll think about it."I mumbled

"I hope you do, you guys been friends too long to let things linger on like this." He stood patting my shoulder and went to walk out

"Jazz." I called out and he turned to look at me

"I just want to have someone like you have Alice and Em has Rose, I just want that too." I sighed

"I know, so does Bella."He grinned one last time and closed the front door.

I sat there for a few minutes before I decided to head over to see Bella. I didn't like how things had transpired. I honestly wish she knew how I felt, I honestly hoped she felt the exact same way, but that was a long shot.

I arrived at her door step about 20 minutes later. I sat in my car trying to convince myself why this was a good idea. I knocked and the door flew open. I was assaulted by three feet of little boy.

"Edward!" Masen's happy voice echoed

"Hey buddy!" I picked him up and grabbed him in a tight hug.

"Mommy said you were acting like a jerk off, what does that mean?" Masen stared at me with a innocent smile

"Masen, don't say that again, its a bad word." I scolded

"What did I tell you about opening the door without telling me.." Bella's eyes narrowed when she saw me

I placed Masen down on the floor and he pulled me by my hand into the living room.

"I just wanted to apologize for earlier." I shifted my feet on the floor.

"No, its me who should apologize. I had no right, you can be with whoever you want." Her eyes downcast to the floor

"If that were only true." I laughed but it wasn't funny to be honest

"It is!" Her voice perked up

I gave her a questioning stare.

"You're famous Edward, you could have anyone you want, so many admirers." her voice cracked slightly

"I have a lot of admirers, but at the end of the day how many of them would put up with my bullshit? They only want me because I have a lot money, but what if I never got that break? What if all I ever was, was a follower of my father's foot steps?" I waited for her response

"You were meant to for greatness, I made sure of that, so you never have to wonder and even if you ended up poor, I would still be your friend." She grinned widely at me

Months went on and Tanya and Bella seemed more at odds than ever. I never paid much attention to it before, but now I could see it. Tanya would complain that Bella was like a love sick puppy where as it was me. I was the one in love ,not Bella, she had been dating other men, spending time with them. She never let things move in anything but a friendly direction, Tanya was out of her fucking mind.

"Edward I had a great birthday." Masen yawned as I placed him on his bed

I'm glad buddy and tomorrow you get to see grandma and grandpa." I pulled the comforter up to cover him

"You know what I wished for Edward?" Masen asked with sleepy eyes

"What?" I smiled rubbing his face

"That you were my daddy." He closed his eyes

I heard a gasp come from behind me and saw Bella retreat from the door way. I turned my attention back to Masen and kissed the top of his head.

"I wish that too buddy, I wish that too." I cooed walking out of the room. I went to knock on Bella's door and heard her whimpering softly.

It was heart breaking to know she was in tears, but I wasn't sure why. I loved Masen just as I would my own child. He was an amazing kid and sometimes I would see certain features of my own in him. He definitely had my type of personality and I knew it drove Bella crazy.

Once in Florida Bella had avoided me like the plague, I wasn't completely sure why, but it hurt none the less. Tanya would be doing her own thing why we broke off the tour for a few days and I was grateful because long extended periods of time with her was exhausting.

Alice invited me to go dancing and it would be the first time I would be seeing Bella since Masen's Birthday.

When she not so gracefully ascended down the stairs, I moved to catch her before she fell. She looked breath taking in a brown dress that matched her hair and I just couldn't tear my eyes away. She looked hot, like fuck me hot.

I watched her in the middle of the dance floor, mesmerized by how easily she moved her hips and threw up her arms. I imagined again that dream of us slow dancing, wrapped in Bella and being able to call her my own. It was never easy being in a public place where so many people knew who you were ,but I didn't care, I needed to be near her.

I excused myself from the boys and made my way to where Bella was swaying and grabbed her hips. Her entire body went ridged until she turned to face me and a smile graced her lips. We got back into the rhythm and I could feel the familiarity of this connection. I wanted her, I needed her and if I danced one more second with her, I would die. I had to go, so I ran like the idiot I was.

The next few days were spent mostly at jasper's place relaxing. It was nice to get away from all the hectic ness of being well known, even though on vacation, I still stopped to take pictures and autographs, after all it was the fans who made me what I was.

I hadn't seen Bella since the club so I decided to pay a visit to her parents house, what I didn't expect was to see her kissing some guy in the middle of the walk way and I was just thrown back to that night in New York when that guy was kissing her, so many times.

She lost her balance and I went to steady her when that asshole did the same. He recognized me. Bella made introductions, but I was too busy thinking of ways to kill him that I didn't even hear what she said his name was.

But I sure as hell heard when he claimed to be her boyfriend. This can't be right! I made smart comment and saw the hurt flash over her features and I felt like the biggest ass ever, but I just acted unaffected and walked away. I ran to my car actually. I sat there banging my head on the steering wheel.

I watched him stumble away and Bella shut the front door. I couldn't let it end like this. She had to know how I felt, I had to tell her the truth. I couldn't live this lie anymore. Maybe she felt the same. She did correct that guy immediately when he claimed her, she made sure to tell me it wasn't what I thought.

But all coherent thought went out the window once I busted into the room and saw her staring like a helpless child. I wanted her, I needed her. I pulled her and kissed her lips. They tasted heavenly, just like in the dream. Everything I had built up was able to come alive right this moment, but too quickly it was over, she pushed me away.

I was dazed and hurt. She didn't want me. But I was living a lie with Tanya and I needed it to end. Yes tell her the truth, it will set you free, but Bella disagreed. I just walked away before my heart could break further, she truly didn't want me.

I was hurt so I tried to keep my distance from Bella for a while until I was able to figure shit out. It was straining on my relationship with Tanya. She knew something was off, but I just didn't led onto anything. Apparently this new guy would be sticking around and I didn't like it.

We were driving up to my parents house in Forks. Tanya wanted to see where the dream began. I was planning on ending things with her this weekend. It was time to let her go. We pulled up to my parents house and Esme was standing I the drive way. She wrapped her arms around me, and squeezed Tanya's hand.

My mom was showing some pictures to Tanya who seemed very swept up in playing the role of soon to be daughter in law. I was leaning over the fireplace when I noticed a picture on the mantel. It was Masen in Point Peak. I don't remember him ever going there, when did that happen?

"Hey mom, where did you get this picture of Masen?" I yelled over my shoulder holding the frame in my hand

"That's not Masen, its you. You don't remember? That was our first trip to Points Peak when you were seven. You had such a good time. That's where you met Emmett for the first time." She smiled kindly at me

I stared down at the picture, examining it closely. It can't be! Its not possible. The sound of cracking wood and busting glass rang loudly in my ears. I looked down at my hands and realized I just destroyed the picture frame in my hand.

"Edward, are you alright?" My mom was to her feet instantly looking at my hand. I cut it with the glass, but I felt nothing. I couldn't stop staring at the picture.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and scrolled through the pictures. I opened up one of the files to see the pictures I had of Masen. I compared it to the picture in my hand to the one in the phone.

"Identical." My mom's tearful voice making me look up

"What?" I said shaking myself

"Edward Masen is your identical twin. He looked just like you did at his age. No wonder Bella never let me see him all those times she was here in Forks, no wonder I never get pictures. She knew I would figure it out, she knew." Tears rolled down her cheeks, she was breathing heavily

I began to laugh, unsure of what was really going on.

"But I never slept with her, it can't be." I blurted out

"Well explain the resemblance then." Tanya finally spoke

Suddenly like a tidal wave, it flooded me. Those dreams, those tiny glimpses of the life I thought wasn't real, actually was. It wasn't a dream, I really did sleep with her, it really did happen, Masen was the proof, but why didn't I remember? Was I that drunk. I never even remembered jasper's graduation party, but apparently I was there. All I remember from that night was breaking up with Lauren. Lauren!

"Do the Mallory's still live here?" I asked my mom

"Yes." Esme's voice weak

I quickly stormed out of the house and down the street. Even if I hadn't been here in years, nothing really changed. I ran up to the old yellow house with the white shutters and banged loudly for someone to answer the door.

A dark haired guy answered in a husky voice. I assumed he was Lauren's boyfriend or husband perhaps.

"Is Lauren here?" I asked trying to look around him

"Who the hell are you?" he asked sizing me up

"Who's at the door babe?" Lauren's voice hadn't changed at all

She approached him and when she laid her eyes on me, her smile grew wider.

"Oh my god, Edward!" She pushed the guy out of the way, flinging herself onto me

I pushed her away, not in the mood to deal with her at the moment. I had a question and she would have the answer.

"What happened the night of graduation?" I was in no mood for polite conversation

"I don't understand." She looked at me dumbfounded

"Why don't I remember anything past coming here that night. What did you do to me?" I seethed

"I didn't do anything, I swear." She held her hands up defensively

"Lauren." I warned

"Fine, I might have slipped you some E." She she shrugged uncomfortable

"Might have or did?" I glared at her

"I did. I didn't want you to break up with me." Tiny tears slid down her face

"Fuck!" I yelled pulling at me hair

I walked away from her quickly, ignoring her calling out my name. I got into my rental car, not even caring that I was leaving Tanya behind. I needed to get back to Seattle, I needed to find Bella that fucking lying bitch...

**Okay, so I apologize for any errors and the long delay, I been having terrible writers block and working a lot, so not a lot of time to get anything out, I hope you like the chapter...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for all the love you show me and the comments, they mean so much to me. I have been so busy with real life and everything , I haven't had time to write, but now I want to try lol. Hope everyone is doing okay. Keep the people in Japan in your prayers, its awful what happened there... This is unbeta'ed, sorry for any errors I will try to make sure not too many. I love the reviews, I try to answer them all but sometimes I just can't...**

**CHAPTER 8**

We were in our hotel in Chicago,having just arrived yesterday from an 8 hour bus ride. I was staring blankly out the window of my suite. It was impossible to go out and be normal because fans were currently taking residence in the lobby.

So much to process, so much to decide. The last two weeks had been so hard. So much had happened, things that needed to happen. But could things ever go back to being normal? Jasper and I hadn't spoken in two weeks. What could I say to him?

He was one of my closest friends and knew all about Masen being my child and never told me. Where was my loyalty there? Even Alice knew and she was barely apart of our lives. What was so special about her that she was aloud to know, but not me?

Yes I was still very angry and hurt. I tried calling her like a million times, trying to focus on what to say. But the words never came, not the right ones. It would end up in argument and someone hanging up. I just needed time to process, but I was a real parent now. My whole life had been altered.

I knew now I had to make changes. I needed to be the kind of man my son would be proud of. I knew now was the time to end it with Tanya. She hadn't taken the news well, but what did I expect? I wasn't really in love with her, yet she acted like we were something we weren't.

"Edward are you coming to bed?' Tanya echoed from across the dark room.

"I can't do this anymore." I said looking out the window

"Can't do what?" Her voice suddenly too close

I turned to be faced with blue eyes and a naked body. Sex was the last thing I needed. Since I found out about Masen, I hadn't laid a finger on her. It just felt wrong, everything about her was _wrong_. She wrapped her arms around my neck ,but I quickly put them back at her sides. Anger suddenly flooded her features.

"What the fuck Edward! You haven't touched me in almost three weeks. Suddenly you want to play saint since you found out you have a child. I don't get you!" Tanya said perturbed.

"Its over." I felt exhausted

"What's over?" Agitation clear in her tone

"This." I gestured between us

"Its not over until I say so. I will ruin you Edward if you even try to leave me." She said enraged

I grabbed her wrists in my hand, tugging tightly, making my point clear. You could see the fear flash in her eyes.

"Do whatever you fucking want to do! I'm done with you, its over. You want to ruin my career, by all means, go ahead. There is nothing you can say that will make me spend another minute living this lie with you." I threw her hands back at her, brushing past her, grabbing my things.

"I'm pregnant!" That got my attention.

I stilled my movements, not sure what to do. Was she serious? The last thing I needed was to have another kid with a woman I didn't love.

"I don't believe you." My voice rundown

"I took the test this morning, it was positive." Her voice strained

"Why didn't you tell me sooner then?" I whirled around to look at her

Her eyes cast down to the floor. I knew she was lying. She was really that desperate to keep me.

"I,I..." She stuttered

I put my hand up to stop her from talking. "I don't want to hear it. You're period just ended Saturday, or did you forget about telling me that? Considering its been almost a month since we fucked!" She shrunk back at my words.

"I don't have time for your games. We're done here. I'll take my shit and go, have a nice fucking life." I grabbed my belongings that I hadn't even bothered to unpack and left the room.

Jasper was staying about four doors down and I banged hard on his. He flung open the door, looking panicked when he saw me. I threw my bag at him, pushing past into the room. He closed the door and placed the bag on the floor as I took a seat in one of the chairs.

"Why didn't you tell me." I asked looking up at him.

He sighed and took the chair opposite me. He ran his hand over his face a few times before resting his elbows on his knees, looking dead at me.

"Bella asked me not to. Believe me it was a hard decision to make, being put in the middle like that. My two best friends. So many times I wanted to tell you, but I felt like I was betraying someone either way. Ed, I'm sorry. I thought about it. How would I feel if you knew something like that and kept it from me. I'd be pretty pissed and upset too." Jasper looked almost on the verge of tears

"In some fucked up way I understand why you did it. It really wasn't your place to say anything Jazz, it was Bella's. You were just being her friend. I just wish it turned out differently." I slumped back into the chair

"She loved you for a really long time. She was just so afraid of you rejecting her." Jasper stated

"I want to forgive her, but I just don't know how.' I placed my head in my hands

"I can't tell you the answer to that. Only you know what is right for you." Jasper was always the wise one

"I broke it off with Tanya, we're through." I laid back

"I can't say I'm upset about that." jasper laughed lightly

"I didn't love her, it was all fake. Publicity reasons, but she was really in love, but it was never mutual. I care about her, but I don't see me with her forever. You got anything to drink?" I looked up to meet Jasper staring hard at me

"Yea, beer, you want?" He didn't even wait for reply, he was already in the mini kitchen grabbing two bottles from the fridge.

He hands me the cold bottle and I take a sip, gazing intently at the label. I begin to peel it off. We are silent for a few minutes.

"Where's Alice?" I glance around, not noticing her.

"She's having a girls night with some friends. Alice was raised here." Jasper took a sip of his beer

"I loved Bella too, ya know. I loved her since I was old enough to understand what love is. She was the most amazing girl I ever met." I laughed taking another swig.

"So why aren't you two together?" Jasper inquired

"Because I hate her right now. I would choke her or something if I was in her face. I may love her ,but I can't stand her at the moment. I would go to jail with the vial thoughts I'm thinking." I gulped down more beer

"Remember Maria?" Jasper chuckled thoughtfully

"Oh god I couldn't stand that chick. She was such a whore." I laughed thinking about her

"Yea, everyone knew it, but me. I was so blind to her. I believed everything she told me and I shut off my reasoning until I found her in bed with our limo guy Leo. God I hated him." Jasper laughed

"I think that was his first and only lay. Damn she would fuck anyone." I began to go hysterical with laughter.

"Are we good?' Jasper asks

"We're good." I nod

Jasper breathes out a sigh of relief. I can't help to feel some kind of weight lifted off me. Now only if I could have a normal conversation with Bella, that would be the next move.

"I need to get a new room. I will talk to you later?" I raise an eyebrow at Jasper

"No doubt." Jazz smiles.

A few days later we are setting up for rehearsal when I hear commotion coming from the left side of the stage. I'm adjusting my microphone when I see Tony, one of our security guards, trying to "remove" someone.

"I already told you, you're not aloud in here." Tony's irritate voice echoed

"Are you seriously telling me I'm not aloud to see my own damn brother?"

I knew that voice well, Bella. I looked over in Emmett's direction and he had annoyed look on his face. He sighed and got up from his drum set, walking to where Tony was.

"It's okay man, she's with us." Emmett grumbled

"Told you. Damn idiot what happened to Ralph?" Bella asked Emmett

"He's sick with the flu. What are you doing here? I thought I told you I didn't want to speak to you?" Emmett was aggravated

"You don't get to stay mad at me forever! So what I didn't tell you! Its my business Emmett. Did you tell me that you fucking my best friend? NO! You didn't, so you don't get to be mad and bully me. I'm not a child and I never once asked you for anything ,but to love me. I made a mistake, move on!" Bella bellowed

Emmett just stared at her for a few minutes. Both of them not dropping there gaze from each other. We all watched them, anxious for what Emmett would say. Finally he began to speak.

"You just don't get it, do you? God, you are so selfish. Yea I'm really hurt Bella that you kept the truth from me, but I'm more hurt that you lied to the two people who deserved to know, Edward and Masen. Do you know how fucked up you are for that? You denied that boy a father because you got jealous from seeing him with someone else." Emmett's face strained

"With or without Masen being here, we would have been successful Bella, how could you not see that? You didn't even give Edward the chance to be a real man and take responsibility. Of all people you know he would have done right by you." Emmett threw his hands up and walked away.

I finally saw Bella then. She stood there, speechless. Her mouth was agape, watching Emmett's retreating figure. Her body slumped and you could tell his words affected her.

Then her eyes turned on me. I had to look away. I knew if I saw the pain, I would give in, I would forgive her and I knew I wasn't ready to.

"So that's how its going to be?" Her statement not really meant for anyone in particular.

"Yea, I guess that's how its going to be." Not even realizing it was my own voice saying those words

I didn't bother to look up as I tuned my guitar. I heard a sob and then small foot steps walking away.

"Fuck!" I groaned

"Bella wait!" Jasper yelled after her

"Just let her go." Emmett said softly has he began to hit his drums.

Jasper's shoulders slumped n defeat and he returned to his position and we began to practice.

The concert was sold out . Being on stage always made me forgot the worries of the outside world. That was the great thing about music, it could take you somewhere else. For just a few minutes, you could lock out everything, everyone.

Once the concert was over, we headed to a club downtown called Vision. The place was packed. A lot of fans were there. We signed autographs then settled into the VIP. It was Jasper, Alice, James, and a few other people from the crew. Tanya had done her best to avoid me since the split.

The VIP here was really nice. We had our own private balcony with its very own bar and bartender, who I believed was named Heidi. She was smoking hot with her long brown hair, gray eyes and enormous breasts.

"Let's do shots!" I announced around

Alice just looked timidly at me.

"What?" I asked looking at her as Heidi placed the shot glasses across the bar

"Nothing, I mean, you sure that's a good idea?" Her voice questioning

"Not tonight Alice." I threw back the shot.

It burned my throat, but I slammed the glass down and pointed to it for her to refill. About three shots later, I was feeling good. I ordered some beers and was beginning to let the Alcohol soothe me. It had been a rough few weeks. Everything I loved and believed in had turned into one big lie.

"You know I knew her my whole life practically. How do you not tell someone you had their kid? Who does that?" I laughed telling Heidi

"I can't see how anyone would deny having your baby, I mean god, you are so fucking hot." Heidi purred

"I know right? I'm a good guy. I love kids. Did she think I would be a bad role model? I would have given it all up for her. All she had to do was ask!" I slurred throwing back my beer

"Edward, think you've had enough!"Alice protested from beside me

"NO!" I wagged my finger in her tiny face

"Yes." She stated

"Fuck off Alice. I already have a mom and she ain't you!" I groaned, turning my attention back to big boobs

"Hey sexy, what time do you get off?' I hiccuped

"Anytime you want me to." Heidi gave me a sexy smirk

"Yea Edward just what you need, knock up another woman. Jasper get him and let's go." Alice's voice trailed off

"He won't be needing your services." Alice gave her a fake smile and Jasper pulled me off the bar stool

"I don't want to go!" I whined

"Are you seriously whining like a kid right now?" jasper eye balled me

"No." I pouted

"Oh lord." Jasper rolled his eyes and directed us out the back entrance of the club.

**Bella's POV**

Emmett was right and I hated that he was right. I was selfish for what I did to Masen and Edward. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how stupid I sounded. I didn't have a good excuse. Yes I was scared, but I had seven years to confess the truth and I didn't. Worse of all, I basically shoved his own kid in his face everyday.

But it wasn't Emmett that hurt me, no, it was Edward. His words echoed in my mind. _Yea, I guess that's how its going to be._ He didn't even look at me, his voice so cold, so clipped. He was never like that to me. What come back did I have? None.

I came to Chicago to make things right with Edward, to apologize to him and to Emmett. I needed them both in my life, but they both clearly didn't want me. Masen was back in Florida with my parents. He needed to start school. Charlie insisted that I make good with my brother.

"All I'm saying Bells is that he is your brother and always will be. He is about to have his own son soon, don't you want to be able to be apart of that?" Charlie gave me a stern look

Dad wasn't one for speaking up. He minded his business, but I know that it bothered him to see his two children at odds.

"I tried to make peace with him, he doesn't want to talk to me." I huffed, pacing infront of him

"Try harder." He voice stone cold

"What am I supposed to do? Hop on a plane to Chicago and confront him?" I gave him a blatant look

"Yes. Masen can stay with us, while you go patch things up with Emmett and Edward. I think maybe some time to yourself will be good, don't you?" Charlie looked exhausted

That night I booked my flight. Demetri offered to drop me off at the airport. I knew it was time to tell him the truth, it was time to let him go. We pulled up infront of the airport. I looked down at my lap, not really sure what to say to him.

"You've been quiet the entire ride, is everything okay?" His worried eyes trying to meet mine

"No, things are not okay." I looked up at him, tears building

"Just say it Bella." He cupped my face with his hand

"I think you are so amazing. I'm such a lucky woman to have found you,but I love Edward. I always have and even if he won't have me, I always will. He's been the only guy who ever had my heart, I'm so sorry." Tears fell onto his hands

"I kind of always knew that. I wish you didn't believe that. I really care about you." His soft breath on my face

"You deserve to have someone who will be what you need, its not me." I kissed his cheek and opened the door

He got out of his side and grabbed my shoulders, staring deeply into my brown eyes.

"I love you please, don't do this Bella. Look how he's treated you, I would never do that to you." I couldn't look up at him

"Just let me go, its over." I whispered

He dropped his hands and I grabbed my suitcase and gave him one finally look. He stood there, sadness gracing his handsome face. I walked off without another look back.

I was now sitting on the couch in Alice's and jasper's suite, watching dateline. Alice invited me to go out with them, but something told me Edward wouldn't be so keen on it. This trip had been a bust. I had spoken to my son a few hours earlier and he told me about his day.

I missed Masen. If Edward and Emmett would never speak another word to me, at least I had Masen. But I knew once he got older there would be questions I wasn't sure I had answers to. The loud bang that came from the hallway, jolted me off the couch and running to see what was going on.

I flung open the door to find Edward with his arms wrapped around both Alice and jasper's shoulders. It looked as if he may have fallen, but he appears to be fine considering he was cackling loudly for all the hotel patrons to hear him.

"Is he okay?" I asked

"If you call stupid drunk okay, then yes, he is." Alice said sarcastically

"Should've let me go home with the bartender, she so wanted me." Edward slurred

"Yes and tomorrow we would have been taking you to the local clinic to check for STDs." Alice rolled her eyes

"Come on buddy, let's get you to bed." Jasper chimed in

"Let me help you." I insisted

"No, I'm fine, go away." Edward tried to slap the air infront of me

"You are not fine." I exclaimed

"Fine enough to get in your panties!" Edward laughed

"Dude, that's so uncalled for." Jasper came to my rescue

"Whatever." Edward mumbled

"Give me his room key. At lest let me open the damn door." I stuck my hand out and Alice handed me the card

I unlocked the door and held it open for them to drag Edward's drunk ass into his room. Jasper laid him on the bed while Alice and I stood awkwardly in the kitchen area. Jasper came back in with his hands in pockets, looking at the floor

"Um, Bella, he wants to talk to you. I'm not really sure its a good idea."

"Its okay, jazz, you guys go back to the room, he can't say anything I haven't already heard." I mumbled

"Okay, but if you need me, well you know where I am." Jasper gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and Alice squeezed my hand

I took a deep breath and walked into Edward's room. We had been friends so long. I never felt awkward with him. I had seen him at his worst, yet right now, I felt like I didn't know this man at all. He was stretched out on his bed, fully dressed in blue jeans and a red dress shirt. Even drunk he looked deliciously sexy.

"You wanted me?" My voice so small I barely recognized it

"Want you?" He began to laugh loudly again

"Um Jasper said you wanted to speak to me." I bit my lip

"Awe yes." He turned over on his back then

He was so beautiful. It was such a crime for anyone to look as good as he did. I wanted to run my hands through his disheveled copper hair, over his chiseled jaw. Take my tongue and lick down his neck. For whatever reason I realized Tanya wasn't present.

"Where's Tanya?" I asked scanning the bedroom looking for any sign of her

"I dumped her!" He smiled widely

"You broke up? Why?" Sudden emotions flooding me

"I don't love her, it was all a publicity scam, it worked for a while though. You were pretty convinced I loved her, right?" Edward pointed at me with a grin

"Yes." I whispered

"I never loved her Bella. I love you. I always have." He began laughing again

"What's funny about that?" I asked confused

"Because you are such a lying bitch. I trusted you, I believed in you. How did you repay that? You fucked me, got pregnant and then didn't tell me! Lord knows I had fantasized fucking you when I was young boy. Even has a grown man. I dreamed of you and Masen and me, being a family. What a fucking joke!" He erupted again

"I'm so sorry for everything." I could feel the wetness running down my face once more

"Not good enough." His voice had a slight angered edge to it

I looked up to see him now sitting up, glaring at me.

"You took the experience away from me, knowing. It wasn't the same Bella. Being the man to that boy and being his father, you never let me have that. All you can say is sorry? How do I fix that? How do you make it right?" He was crying

I don't know what took over me, but I moved swiftly to the bed and sat down beside him. I looked at his twisted, tortured face. I had hurt him so much, so badly.

"I want to fix it. I was stupid, I know that now. I wish I could fix it. What can I say, what can I do?" I grabbed his face in my hands

"I hate how you do this to me, how you affect me. If you only knew." With that he fell back onto the bed, closing his eyes.

I stared at him has he began to mumble.

"I loved you and only you, its only ever been you.." Then he drifted off to sleep.

"It was always you." I whispered resting myself next to me

**Let me know what you think! I'm sorry if its not exciting, but I been so busy lately, I just wanted to get something out to you all, let me know what you would like to see happen. Have I been too hard or too easy on our Bella?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Welcome back back my loves, how have you all been? Thank you for the love last chapter and every chapter, its never enough! Sorry its taken a long time to review, but what can I really say? I have a life outside of this unfortunately lol. Well I know a lot of you thought last chapter was sad, so I hope this one makes up for it! I borrowed Taylor Swift's Tear drops on my Guitar. I was listening to it the other day in the car on the radio and I really listened to the words, it sounded a lot like them in high school, look for Bella's explanation later...**

**Chapter 9 **

The morning light was shining through my hotel room window. My head was aching painfully. I thought my brain was going to explode of out of skull. I slowly blinked my eyes against the light shimmering in. I went to move my arm when I realized it was wrapped around someone.

My mind began to scramble, trying to remember what happened last night. It had been a long time since I got drunk, since finding out about Masen, I had steered clear of drinking over a certain amount. I turned my head slightly to see if I could see the person's face without jolting them awake.

Nothing would have surprised me more in that moment then when I laid my eyes on the body in my mind. Wrapped securely in my arms was Bella. Her brown hair was splattered across the pillow while her body was pressed closely into my side. Her legs were tangled in mine. She looked so peaceful and comfortable. Some of her hair was laying over her face and I gently moved it to get a better look at her. She stirred slightly and I froze, but she only cuddled in closer to me.

I remember arguing with her ,but I don't remember anything else. Did we have sex? I couldn't live with myself if I was drunk once again and had sex with her not remembering it. I looked down at myself, I was completely clothes. She was wearing a tee shirt with some stretchy pants. Relief flooded me.

I rubbed my thumb over her then over her full lips. They were soft and she sighed before her eyes fluttered open. I stared at her like a deer in the headlight. I didn't know what to say or do, I just stared. She must have noticed the alarm because she quickly pulled away, losing the connection her sleeping body had just provided.

We were like two mimes. We just watched each other not saying a word. She was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep, I hadn't realized.." She trailed off not even sure what she was saying.

I wanted to say something, but no words were becoming of me.

"I should go." She muttered and scrambled off the bed.

I wasn't functioning fast enough from the killer pain in my head to respond immediately. By the time she reached the door I yelled out for her.

"Bella..." I yelled

She turned to look at me, hope gleaming in her eyes, wishing for me to say something, anything.

"How's Masen?" Was all I could utter

"He misses you." Her hushed voice said

"Tell him I will come see him once the tour is over, next week." I gushed out

"I will." She nodded and opened the door

She gave me one last look and I gave her a small smile and she returned it, closing the door.

I could have handled that better, different I suppose, but right now I needed some fucking aspirin to kill the pain in my aching head. I couldn't over analyze anything right now. I had to focus on getting out of these clothes and into the shower.

After a long shower and some much needed pain killers, I called Jasper's room. I invited him to have lunch with me ,considering it was now 1pm. He agreed, letting me know Alice had taken Bella to see Rose. It was kind of a relief she wouldn't be there, I needed time to sort through things.

We went to a small cafe that seemed nonchalant enough, not too many onlookers would notice us. I had on my black baseball cap and sunglasses. Jasper sported a similar look. We ordered our drinks from a waitress named Tammy.

We gazed at the menu, not really talking much and nobody really initiating a conversation. I placed the menu back on the table, tapping my fingers idle.

"You didn't fuck her, did you?" Jasper blurted out

"Fuck who?" I looked at him like I had no idea what he was referring to, or rather _who_.

"Bella man." Jasper sighed in defeat

I pulled my cap off, running my hands through my hair.

"No Jazz, nothing happened as far as I can remember." I leaned back in my chair

"We both know your drunken memory sucks." Jasper picked up his iced tea and sipped it

"We were both fully clothes when I woke up, did she tell you something different?" I felt anxious

"She just seemed, weird I guess is the best way to say it. She immediately got defensive when we asked her how her night was." Jasper shrugged

"It was weird, the whole scenario. I remember arguing with her about the past, then I wake up with her wrapped in my arms. The strangest part was, I didn't want her to leave." I ran my hands over my face

"So what happens next for you two?" jasper edged as the waitress brought our food to the table.

I thanked the young girl and waited for her to be out of ears drop. Sometime people listen in on our conversations and next thing you know its in star magazine.

"I don't know. Would it have happened if I was sober? That's the question I keep asking myself. I love her jasper, I mean that never went away. How do I forgive her and move forward?" I hoped he had the answer

"You need to figure it out soon because she is going back to Florida tomorrow. I know things have been shaky, but I think its time for you and her to have a grown up sober talk." Jasper pointed his fork at me

"I agree." And for once I did.

I spent the rest of the day figuring out how to approach Bella. What would I say, how would she react? Could we be mature. After all we were parents, we had to be for our son. What would happen between us now? So much to consider. I had texted her at 6pm to invite her for dinner with me at 7pm. She agreed

Now I was standing in the lobby of our hotel, waiting for her to arrive. We were having dinner in the dinning room there. Has I paced the floor I heard the clicking of heels. I looked up only to be blinded by the beauty that she was. She had on a tight black cocktail dress that went to her knees and thin straps on her shoulders. Her heels were high and her legs looked amazing.

"You look beautiful." I breathed out

Her cheeks reddened and she smiled coyly at me. "Thank you, you look pretty good also."

I returned her smile "Ready?" I held my arm out for her to take

She nodded and we proceeded into the elegant dinning area. We were seated off to the back of the place, trying to be discreet. We paid the hotel a good amount of money to keep the paparazzi away, but who knew how well it worked.

I held her chair out for her and then took my own. The waiter took our drink order, which was really only water. We both needed a clear head for this conversation because nobody knew how it would turn out.

"So what do you think you will be having?" She asked looking over her menu

"It doesn't really matter, my stomach is very much tied in knots right now to think about eating." I chuckled nervously

"Me too." She sighed with a soft giggle

We both smiled at each other and the waiter came back to the table. I decided on penne vodka while Bella got chicken marseille.

"I'd like to start from the beginning, if that's okay." Bella spoke up

"Okay." I leaned in to listen

"There never seemed like a good time to tell you, but it always was the right time to tell you I guess. I just felt like you were you and I was me, I just never thought you could feel that way about me." She played with the hem of the napkin

"I don't know why I never told you how I felt about you, I was afraid you reject me. You seemed too good for me. I remember when Emmett told me you were pregnant, I didn't eat or sleep for days. It was the worst time in my life because it made it real, it made it known that someone else touched you. That you allowed someone else to get that close to you, it hurt." I leaned back taking a sip of water

"But you were having sex long before I was. I mean you always had another girlfriend every time I saw you. It was just a crush back then." Her lips began to tremble slightly

"Back then I was a teenage boy, I'm not that guy anymore. Things with Tanya got so out of control, the only reason her and I hooked up in the first place was because I saw you with someone else. It was always my reason anytime you saw me with another woman." I rubbed my face

"But that's not a good reason to hide how you feel. Did you ever think of taking a chance, just telling me?" Bella's brown eyes searched mine

"Did you?" Anger beginning to fill me, thinking about how she lied to me for seven years.

"I guess you're right. We both never said a word and our reasons were both bullshit." She declared

"Remember back in high school, the talent show where I wrote my own song and sang it?' Bella gave me a small grin.

"I hated that guy you sang about. I tried so hard to find a fucking Drew,but I was never successful." I laughed

"It was about you." She bit her lip, blushing

"What? Really?" I looked at her confused

I sat back, thinking back to the talent show.

**(Flashback)**

We assembled into the gym for the annual talent contest. Random people performing tricks, songs, and other ridiculous things they could do. Jasper, Emmett, and I would be the last performance of the night, so we were back stage when all the other people went on.

After seeing about 5 different acts of really awful talent, I knew we had it in the bag. I had offered to let Bella in on our group, but she said she had her own performance she wanted to do. I had no idea what her exact talent was, but curiosity was peaking inside of me.

A few months back she had shown an interest in learning how to play acoustic guitar, so we practiced a few nights a week. I had to admit, I didn't mind teaching her, it meant more time alone with her. She made me so nervous, I had no idea how to talk to her like she was a girl I had a crush on, I only knew how to talk to her like a buddy.

So has I watched her set up her chair in the middle of the stage and adjust the microphone, I was surprised to notice the guitar strapped around her neck. She had on black converse sneakers and jeans with a pink fuzzy looking sweater. The color was great for her pale complexion. She cleared her throat.

"I would like to sing a song I wrote for a special boy, I hope you like it." She said with anxiety in her tone. She began to strum her chords and the voice of angel echoed across the gym.

_Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see  
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be  
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about  
And she's got everything that I have to live without_

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny  
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me  
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,  
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so perfectly,  
The kind of flawless I wish I could be  
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down and maybe  
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do  
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough  
And he's all that I need to fall into..  
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

My mouth hangs open, I assume with the rest of the place. Bella can sing and I mean she can really sing. Her song is so sad, so exact to how I feel for her, but she says his name so _clearly. Drew_, who is this dude and when can I kill him?

**(Flashback ends)**

"Think about the letters in your name Edward. I figure I couldn't make it so obvious it was about you, but wanted it to be about you, so I took some letters out and shortened it." She shrugged with a smile

"I'm, wow, rendered speechless." I smiled down at the table.

"I was always so jealous of the girl you bragged about all the time. It drove me crazy when Emmett would rub it in my face." Bella turned red

"It was you Bella. I was so nervous all the time to tell you how I really felt that I figured by talking about you in the third person it would be some type of omission, but I guess not." I laughed twirling my fork in my pasta

"So where do you go from here?' She asked after a few minutes of nobody speaking

I took a long sip of my water, trying to figure out that exact response. Where did this go from here? Was I ready for something more or not?

"We try to be friends again and work at it from there. We both just ended relationships, I doubt we are really prepared to jump into another, don't you agree?" I asked

"So you would be willing to try to be in a relationship with me?" She said with such surprise

"I think right now, we need to focus on being parents to our son, that's what I'm saying." I tried to keep my voice even

"Okay." She nodded sadly

"I want to be a father to my son, since the tour is ending next week, I will have a lot of free time outside of other publicity things that I have lined up, but it would mean a lot to me if I could take Masen and just him and I spend time." I hesitated

"Of course Edward, he would really like that." Her voice had a slight cracking to it, but I let it go.

"Sounds good." I smiled digging back into my food

Dinner ended and we parted ways. I made promises to meet up with her once I got back to Miami. We needed to build this up slowly. Even if I did want to consider a relationship with her, I knew it needed to come when I was ready and I wasn't.

A few weeks had passed. I had spent every moment I could with Masen, playing sports, going to amusement parks, just hanging out doing guy stuff. He seemed to love having our time together. We sitting in a park just finishing playing on the swings. We had grabbed two ice pops off ice cream truck. We were sitting on a bench watching the other kids playing.

I watched Masen eating his red ice pop with it dripping down his chin. He was swinging his little legs just watching the other children. He looked like nothing was on his mind, so when he turned to look at me ,scrutinizing up his face, I was surprised.

"Jackie's parents are divorced and her parents hate each other. They always argue about who is allowed to spend time with her, it makes her sad." Masen said licking his pop

"Who's Jackie?" I asked trying to understand how a seven year old could comprehend such a complex thing like hate or divorce

"She's my best friend,beside you. She cries a lot, I give her my snack to make her smile." He tilted his head to the side

"That's very nice of you. Did you mention this to the teacher?"

"Mrs. Adams says lots of parents don't live together, sometimes its not our place to say anything ,but I don't like seeing Jackie cry. Mommy cries a lot too. She doesn't think I hear her, but I do." Masen pouted

"Your mom cries a lot?" This was news to me

"Mostly at night when she thinks I'm sleeping." He shrugs and jumps off the bench to dispose of his Popsicle stick.

This bothered me and I needed to talk to her about it. Why was she crying? Bella had always been the strongest person I knew, weakness had never been an option for her.

We played in the park a little longer and I returned him to Bella's condo. Surprisingly I found Emmett at the kitchen table with her. They both looked up at us trying to control their laughter. It was nice seeing them making up. I really didn't want them at odds because of me.

"Hey looks who's back!" Bella smiled while outstretching her arms to hug Masen

"Daddy and me went to the park. We had ice pops." Masen grinned at Bella

"Oh did you?" Bella kissed his head and looked up at me

"I should get going." Emmett announced , rising from his chair

"Edward, good seeing you." Emmett nodded his head at me

"Masen can I get some love." Emmett picked Masen up and hugged him

Masen giggled has Emmett tickled him. Bella stood from her chair and walked Em to the door. I could hear them saying their good byes.

"Masen, go wash up for bed." Bella ordered

"Yes mommy." Masen echoed running toward his room

Bella walked into the kitchen and began to clear the dishes off the table. She had her back turned to me while she was washing the plates off in the sink.

"Bella, can we talk?" I asked

"Sure, let me finish up in here, I'll meet you in the living room." She mumbled without looking at me

I took that opportunity to check on Masen. I helped him put on his pajamas and tucked him into his bed. It was already 8:30pm by the time we managed to get him relaxed enough. I turned on his nightlight and walked back into the living room where Bella was placing a tray of cookies on the coffee table.

"I figured you might want something to munch on." She shrugged taking a bite of one of the cookies

"I'm okay. I really just want to talk to you about something Masen said to me." I waited for her to look at me

"I'm listening." She looked at me contently

"He mentioned he hears you crying at night. He said it really bothers him." I watched her reaction.

She placed the cookie back on the tray and looked down at her lap. I could see the wheels in her head turning as she decided what she would say. She was looking for an excuse.

"He's mistaken." She smiled

I picked up her hand from her lap and gave it a gentle squeeze. She looked at me thoughtfully.

"Bella, if something is bothering you, you can tell me. I realize these past few weeks have been difficult, but I really want to try to be civil here. Have I done something to upset you?"

She pulled her hand out of mine and began to look away. "Edward, I'm fine really, don't worry about me." She muttered

"I can't not worry about you. It's effecting our son, so that makes whatever is wrong with you my problem." I said a little more harsh than I intended

"My emotional problems have nothing to do with you, so mind your business. Has far as Masen is concerned, I have never once involved him in any of my problems. I will talk to him myself. You can leave now." Her tone cold

"I just want to help." I said exasperated

"You can help by going home." She said clipped

"I didn't mean to offend you." I was still not moving

"Go home Edward, I'm tired." With that she got off the couch and waited for me to get up.

With heavy feet I dragged myself to the door and left. I didn't know where I really stood in her life. Were we friends or were we more? I was beginning to forgive her, I needed to for Masen's sake. I didn't want to be one of the parents who hated the other.

The next few days I had to spend recording new music in the studio, so my time was limited with Masen. Bella would bring him by after school so we could hang out for a few minutes ,then they were gone.

Has we were recording the last lines of our song Emmett's cell phone began to ring. He was the only one allowed to have his phone while we were in the studio because his wife was ready to give birth any minute.

"Rose, is everything okay?" Emmett's voice slightly pitched

"Are you sure? I mean, right now, really? Okay, I'm on my way!" He shut his phone and began to stand from his drum set

"It's time guys, we are having a baby today" Emmett's voice was cracking from the pure realization of what was about to happen for him

"Do you want me to drive you?" I asked standing from my bench

"That would be great. I'm so nervous right now I might crash into something." He gave a nervous chuckle

Jasper, Emmett, and I all packed it up and headed for my car. Has we drove down the interstate, Emmett made random phone calls. We pulled into the hospital parking lot behind Bella's car who had a very hysterical Rose in her passenger seat.

Emmett just about jumped out of his car and headed toward Rose. A nurse came out with a wheel chair and Emmett picked Rose up and placed her gentle in it. Emmett shooed the nurse away and pushed the chair himself. Rose leaned back, grabbing his arm and squeezing it tightly.

"Our son is finally coming, I can't wait." Rose's tears flowing down her cheeks

Emmett smiled and I could see his own tears coming down his face. I had missed this moment with Bella. I was denied this whole experience. I was just the friend when I should have been involved.

We all hurried toward the waiting room where the nurse instructed us we had to wait. Emmett promised to come down with news.

It was Jasper, Bella, and me all seating down when I saw Bella's parents coming in with Masen and Alice trailed behind. Masen ran to me, launching himself into my lap. He grabbed my neck and hugged me.

"I'm going to be a cousin!" He exclaimed happily.

"I know, that's a big responsibility." I smiled at him

"I'll be the best cousin that kid ever seen." He nodded

There was a lot of idle chit chat going on. Renee's voice took me out of my musings

"I remember when mommy went into labor with you. We were so frantic." Renee spoke softly to Masen

"Was daddy there?" Masen looked up at her

That caught me off guard. I wasn't there for the actual birth, but I remember waiting just like I was now for news. The fact that I wasn't the first one to lay eyes on my own son, it had been Rose. It felt like a knife was twisting in my heart.

"Yea buddy I was here." I could barely hide the emotion in my voice

Masen gave me a toothy grin and turned back to his grandmother. Renee gave me a knowing look of apology. I nodded.

"I'm just going to get some air." I stood up and began to walk toward the entrance.

Right before I reached the sliding glass doors I heard Bella yelling my name.

"Edward wait!" She exclaimed

I spun around to face her. She stood back momentarily.

"I really need some air, is that okay with you?" I spat

"I'm sorry." Her voice was so small

"You seem to say that a lot." I turned and walked out of the door

She followed behind me as I leaned against the concrete wall.

"I will keep saying it until you finally believe me. I never met to hurt you, I never thought..." But I cut her off before she could say anything else

"That's always been your problem Bella! You never think, you just do and hope that your actions haven't hurt anyone. I want to be able to pretend none of this happened and that you are the same person I knew all this time ,but that's changed." I gripped my hair in frustration

"Nothing you can say right now will make what you did to me right, nothing. But for some reason I'm the bad guy in all this. My son questions why he was never allowed to call me daddy all this time, how do you explain that to a seven year old?" I glared at her

I didn't want to be a bastard, but seeing Emmett just now, I was jealous. I was never giving the opportunity and it hurt.

"I don't know know what to say." Bella whispered and I could see the pain I was causing.

"Fuck!" I yelled loudly as I looked at her broken face

"Just leave me a lone for a while, I just need to be alone." I muttered walking back into the hospital.

I headed for the elevator, hoping just to go get something to drink, but she was persistent and followed behind me. She jumped on before the door closed. I was facing the opposite direction of her, tears falling from my eyes, I didn't want her to see me so weak.

She tugged at my arm to make me turn to look at her and she gasped when she saw my face.

"Edward." She breathed on my face ad she tiny fingers wiped away my tears. I took her wrists in my hands and pushed them away.

She sighed in agitation and I heard her hit a button on the elevator keypad. The thing jolted to a stop.

"What are you doing?" I said through clenched teeth

But she never responded, instead she flung herself at me. Our lips collided and I couldn't resist my need for her any longer...

**Okay sorry so long but you know life gets in the way lol. Tell me what you think, happy ideas?**


	10. Chapter 10

**I do apologize for the long wait on this chapter and for the long wait on my other stories, I just been dealing with so much. I love the support you guys give me, its overwhelming, especially when things are so stressful in my own life, I appreciate you being there for me. This chapter is unbeta'ed, just like all the rest, I try to catch my grammar and spelling errors, but hey I'm not perfect. Anyway we left off we with love in an elevator lol...**

**Chapter 10**

I watched Edward from across the waiting room. My mother babbling to Masen about his birth and I could see the hurt and the anger flash across Edward's face. I realize now that my reasoning for keeping Edward in the dark was selfish and wrong.

How could I expect him to forgive me when I have yet to forgive myself. Did I ever really believe there would be an appropriate time to tell him the truth? He was always good to me, even when he believed I would give myself to someone else. How did I never see it before?

Reality began to hit me then. The way he would stare at me or stick up for me. The simple little things he did for me. He may never had said he loved me, but he definitely showed it. Hell he loved my son even though he thought he was someone elses.

"I'm just going to get some air." I heard Edward say, but there was something painful about how he said it.

He was hurting and I had caused it. It was time to right this wrong for the last time. Before I knew what I was doing, I was on my feet following him.

"Edward wait!" I yelled after him

He turned around so fast that I lost my balance slightly.

"I really need some air, is that okay with you?" Venom pouring from his lips

"I'm sorry." I whispered knowing it would never be enough.

"You seem to say that a lot." He walked out of the door

But I knew he was pissed, but I wouldn't allow him to walk away from me anymore. We needed to air this out once and for all.

"I will keep saying it until you finally believe me. I never met to hurt you, I never thought..." He interrupted me before I could say any more.

"That's always been your problem Bella! You never think, you just do and hope that your actions haven't hurt anyone. I want to be able to pretend none of this happened and that you are the same person I knew all this time ,but that's changed."

"Nothing you can say right now will make what you did to me right, nothing. But for some reason I'm the bad guy in all this. My son questions why he was never allowed to call me daddy all this time, how do you explain that to a seven year old?" He gave me the look of death

"I don't know what to say." My voice barely audible.

"Fuck!" He screamed, pulling at his hair

"Just leave me a lone for a while, I just need to be alone." He mumbled

He pushed past me and walked toward the elevator, but I wasn't over this conversation yet. I didn't know how to explain how sorry I really was for hurting him, but he needed to understand. I grabbed his wrist to make him look at me.

"Edward." I gasped as I saw the tears in his eyes.

I had destroyed him. I tried to wipe them away, but he grabbed my hands and put them at my sides. I was fed up with him at this point. I hit the stop button on the elevator to force him to talk to me, but when I turned to look at him, something in me snapped.

His eyes looked so vulnerable and I remembered every reason that made me love him. His voice, his smile, the way he runs his hands through his hair when he is upset. How wonderful of a father he is to our son. I was so in love with this man.

"What are you doing?" His voice agitated

I just lunged myself at him. Our lips coming together and fire works going off. We could truly be together now. There was no Demetri or Tanya. It was just me and Edward.

He wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped my legs around his. He pushed me into the wall, crushing our bodies together. He started to pull my shirt off over my head and flung it to the floor. I looked at him with pure lust filled eyes, letting him now without words how much I wanted this.

I gripped at his tee shirt and he took it off, exposing his defined chest. I dragged my fingers across his muscular stomach, enjoying the groan that left his lips. We both fumbled with each other's jeans, trying our best to undress each other.

"Oh Bella." Edward's tone full of pain as he grabbed my face, kissing me forcefully

I gripped his hair in my hands, pulling him as close as I could. He moved his hands back to my hips, moving us to the floor. He hovered over me, staring me in the eyes.

"I love you so much." He said with such adoration

"I love you too. I'm sorry for everything, please forgive me." The tears streamed down my cheeks.

"I forgive you." He plunged his tongue into my mouth

No more words needed to be said. He pulled my pants off then removed his own. We both laid on the floor of the elevator as he spread my legs apart. I could feel his erection rubbing into my stomach.

The actual fact we were about to have sex in an elevator of a hospital while my brother and best friend were upstairs having a baby should have disturbed me but I felt no remorse for what was about to happen.

"Are you sure?" he searched my eyes for answer

"Make love to me Edward." I pulled him back to my level and kissed him passionately

I jerked my pelvis up and he entered me swiftly. Our bodies moved in perfect sync. It was beyond words or memory. It felt perfect. He slowly pulled in and out of me, trying to create a rhythm. I pushed myself up into him, trying to get more friction.

He smirked and moved a little faster, making my eyes roll into the back of my head. He had definitely gotten bigger since high school.

Suddenly we were off the floor and he had me turned around quicker than I could have predicted and still deep inside of me. This definitely forced my insides to react to his rather large penis.

"Hold on to the railing Bella." He commanded and I obeyed

He thrusted deeper into me and I couldn't help the primal growl that left me. That only caused him to work harder and go even further inside of me. Never had I been filled like this. My hands were beginning to go numb from holding on, that I had to yell out for a reprieve.

"I can't hold this anymore." I wailed

"Get on your knees." He commanded

His thrusts became more erratic and more urgent this way. I pushed my ass back into him, trying to keep up, but my legs were no comparison for his stamina.

"I want to cum Bella." He groaned from behind

I could I feel myself getting closer to the brink and I knew with a few more quick thrusts, I would be in orgasmic heaven. He pushed in and out of me about three more times and I came undone all over him. He came shortly after.

We both collapsed onto the floor in a pile of body parts, staring at the ceiling when I heard a voice coming from the intercom. It was security asking if we needed help. We both began to laugh and told him we were fine and began to get dressed.

Has I fastened my bra I saw Edward watching me as he pulled up his jeans.

"What?" I smirked at him

"I can't believe we just did this." He shook his head with a smile

"I can and it was the best sex I ever had." I pulled my shirt over my head

"The best huh? That's good to know." He winked at me

"Don't get cocky now." I wiggled my finger in his face

He gave out a light chuckle, which in turn caused me to grin. I had missed his playfulness. Why did I wait so long to tell this beautiful man in front of me how I felt for him? Guilt settling in my stomach. I didn't have long to think about it when the man's voice echoed through the intercom once more.

We finally got dressed and I pushed the button to force it back down to the waiting area. Has we departed the elevator, I wasn't really sure where we stood with each other. I didn't have much time to debate it when I saw Emmett in his blue scrubs with a huge grin on his face, the proud poppa.

"He looks like me with Rose's eyes. Man I have never seen anything so perfect." Emmett spoke in awe of his new son.

He heard our approaching foot steps and turned to face us. He gave us both a puzzling look, but didn't utter a word. He began to tell us of his new son. His name was Austin Douglas Swan. He was 7lbs 12oz 19 ½ inches long. He had dark hair and blue eyes.

I was so happy for my brother and best friend, but my mind was not even focusing on the fact I had a nephew. My mind was still scrambling from the elevator. I decided that this conversation could wait until later on, right now I needed to be there for those who had been there for me.

We all made it to Rose's room. She was laying in a hospital gown on her bed holding a tiny little angel in her arms. He was wrapped in a blue blanket with a matching hat. Has we walked in, Rose was admiring her brand new son.

"Congrats mommy." I beamed at her

She looked up at me and her grin was so wide, I thought her face might split in two.

"I never thought I could love anyone more than Emmett, but I was so wrong." She spoke while looking at her new born son

"I thought the same thing when Masen was born. The love you have for your child is something that can't compare to anything." I began to rub my new nephew's head.

"Do you want to hold him?" Rose held the baby out to me

I took him without hesitation. He was so small in my arms. I had forgotten what it was like to hold a baby. Masen was 7 years old. Has I held him I could someone standing over my shoulder. I lifted my eyes to see a smiling Edward, adoring the baby as well.

A slight pang dug into my heart thinking this could have been us, if I had allowed it, but who really knew? Would his reaction had been the same then to know the child was really his? It was too late to find out, all I could do now was be grateful for what was now.

"He definitely looks like Emmett." Edward chuckled

"He's beautiful." I cooed kissing his head

"Can I see mommy?" Masen tugged on my leg

I kneeled down to his level so he could get a good look at his new cousin. Masen examined him thoughtfully. He was ever so careful touching the baby. I was proud of him. I passed Austin along to my mother.

Edward excused himself to answer a phone call, but 30 minutes had passed and he had yet to return. I ducked my head in the hallway to see if he was around ,but the hall was empty. When I reentered the room I could see how tired Masen was, so I decided it was time for us to head home.

I called Edward's cell to let him know we were leaving, but it went straight to his voice mail. I tried not to let the paranoia get to me, that it just a coincidence.

With a heavy heart I said my goodbyes and we headed home. It was around 11:30pm when we made it back to my house. Masen was fast asleep and heavy in my arms. I scrambled to unlock the door. I hit the lights and laid Masen in his bed.

I tried Edward's phone one more time, but it was still going to voice mail. I sighed and left a message letting him know I got home safely to give me a call when he could.

The next morning came and Masen went to spend the day with my father. They were going fishing. I stopped off at a store to get some stuff for the new baby. Edward still hadn't gotten back to me, I began to worry that maybe he was suddenly regretting what happened.

I didn't have long to ponder the thought when I pulled into the hospital parking lot. I gave the valet my keys and signed into the visitors book, making my way to Rose's room. When I entered Emmett was standing by the window holding Austin. Rose was sitting on her bed eating what looked to be breakfast.

"Hey guys. How's the baby?" I asked while plopping down on the side of Rose's bed

"He got up twice, but Emmett fed him both times. He's really good at this." Rose beamed at her man

"Well he did have a lot of practice with his nephew." I giggled

"Yea but this time I can't give him back when I'm tired." Emmett chuckled

"Have you talked to Edward?" I asked Emmett

"No, I haven't seen him since he left yesterday. Have you?" Emmett turned to look at me

"I left him some messages, but it kept going to voice mail. I was getting kind of worried." I bit my lip

Just then my phone vibrated with a text message. Speak of the devil.

_Hey everything is okay, I got your messages. Sorry I had to go last night, something came up in the studio. I'll talk to you later._

"Who was that?" Rose quirked her eyebrow at me

"Edward. He just was letting me know he had to go back to the studio." I nodded

However I felt something unnerving in my stomach. I didn't know how to feel right now.

"So you guys are on good terms then?" Rose asked shoveling food into her mouth

"Yea, something like that." I gave a small smile

"Hey Em, why don't you bring the baby to the nursery for a while, then you can go home and get my clothes for me." Rose smiled

"Alright." Emmett looked between the two of us

"Let me kiss my son." Rose kissed the baby on his head

Emmett walked out of the room with the baby and that's when Rose went full attack mode.

"Okay what's going on?" She crossed her arms over her chest

"I have no idea what you mean." I shrugged

"Don't bullshit me Bella. I saw how the two of you were all cute and cuddle." She gave me a pointed look

"Fine. We had sex on the elevator." I covered my face with my hands

"Oh my god!" Rose shrieked

"Can you keep your voice down." I waved at her

"Tell me everything! Was it as good as you remember? Did he last long? Was he bigger? I bet he was big." Rose said excitedly

"Rose! You just had a baby, geez you can't be thinking about things like that!" I said astounded

"Stop avoiding and just answer Swan!"

"Oh Rose it was, incredible. Better than I could have remembered. He was just everything. But now I think he's regretting it. He leaves without telling me, won't answer his phone. Am I just being paranoid?" I looked up feeling distressed

Rose took my hand in hers, giving it a gently squeeze. She looked me right in the eyes, giving me a soft smile.

"He loves you, more than anything. I can't speak for him presay, but I have no doubt that he definitely doesn't regret it." She pulled me into a hug

"Thank you." I leaned my forehead against hers

I spent a couple more hours with Rose and the baby until my dad called to let me know they were on their way back from the boat. I picked up Masen and headed home so we could have dinner.

It was around 11pm and still nothing but a text from Edward. I didn't want to call him, but my hand was wrapped tightly around my cell phone. Where was he? Was Rose right?

The sound of the heavy rain outside was normally very confronting to me. But tonight it was my unraveling. I kept picturing Edward and me in the elevator. The way his lips felt and how his strong hands held me.

Heavy pounding on my front door took me out of my musings. I got off my bed and made my way to the hallway. I flung open the door to find a soaking wet Edward. All he had on was a red tee shirt and some shorts with sneakers.

"Edward what are you doing out in this weather?" Was all I could come up with

"Well if you let me in, I won't have to be out in this weather." He chuckled

I scurried him in and went to the bathroom to grab him a towel. He peeled off his tee shirt, causing me to catch my breath. His perfect abs and solid shoulders made me lose my mind. Why did he have to look so damn sexy?

"Bella are you okay?" He asked drying off his hair

I shook the dirty thoughts out of my head, trying to gain focus.

"I'm..You haven't returned any of my calls!" I stomped my foot

"Yea, about that.." His voice sounding nervous

"Do you regret what happened yesterday?" I couldn't help how my voice was shaking

His eyes immediately flashed when I said it. He looked completely confused. Not the reaction I was looking for.

"Regret having sex with you?" He looked as if I had asked him a stupid question

"Yes." I rolled my eyes

"You think I regret what happened yesterday?" His face looked pain

"Yes." I whispered fighting back the tears

"You don't know anything." He pulled my face with his hands, so I was staring him in the eyes

"I have many regrets as a man, but making love to you will never be one of them. Oh Bella, I just needed some time to think about what happened. I was afraid you were the one who regretted it." He sighed, pulling me into his arms

I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him into me. I couldn't get close enough. His scent lingered in the air around me.

"I don't regret it. I was so worried, you might. I just need to know what happens now. How do we proceed forward." I clung to him

I could feel him sighing heavily. He pulled away, looking down at me. He began to smile rubbing my cheeks.

"We have a lot of things to talk about, but right now I just want to look at you and hold you in my arms. I've had a lousy day. Is that okay?" He looked at me so lovingly

"Of course. Come on." I pulled him by the hand toward my bedroom

I pulled out an old tee shirt some boxers that I knew would fit him. I liked to wear men's clothing to bed. It was comfy. I handed them to him and he laughed. What I hadn't realized was the old tee I had given him actually used to belong to him.

"I always wondered what happened to this shirt. It was my favorite." He laughed as he slipped the old Cure shirt.

"That's why I stole it all those years ago. I had such a crush on you and I knew how much you loved that shirt. I think you had just finished a gig and it smelled so much like you." I giggled in embarrassment

"I would have given you anything then, all you had to do was ask." He stared at me with a goofy grin

"I wish I had." I sighed, slipping under the comforter on my bed.

Edward did the same and pulled me into his chest. I rested my head over his heart. This would be the first time we ever did this, but yet it felt like we did it every night. Everything with him felt familiar and right.

"I wish I could say things are right between us, but they're not. I just hope that we can work toward making them right. " Edward spoke while stroking my hair

"Me too." Was all I could say

We laid there in the dark silent, not sure what to say. But the silence was nice, not awkward. We had known each other for along time. I could hear his breathing evening out, which meant he was asleep. I was content with that for now.

Has my own eyes began to close I heard Edward talking in his sleep.

"I love you Bella, I want you to be my wife." He whispered

I sat up abruptly, but his eyes were closed and he was fast asleep. I stared at his sleeping face, so peaceful and glorious.

"I want that too." I whispered back and fell into a deep sleep...

I know its a little shorter, but hey its a chapter. Let me know what you think and thank you all for your kindness through my hard times, I'm so grateful for the great fans I have here!


	11. Chapter 11

**I know its been a long time, but hey what can I say? I have been very busy and very uninspired to write. I have missed you all dearly and thank you for the love last chapter and every time I write, your kind words keep me going!**

**CHAPTER 11**

Has the sun filtered through the binds on the windows, my eyes began to flutter open. The spot where Edward had been when I fell asleep was now vacant. I looked around my quiet bedroom for any signs of him, but was disappointed when nothing seemed out of place.

I pulled the blanket off and hopped of the bed toward the living room where I could hear the television playing out some cartoon. Masen was awake. I headed toward the sound to find a sight so breathtakingly perfect, I couldn't bare to make my presence known yet.

Masen and Edward were both seated on my couch infront of the television, each with a bowl of cereal I assumed in their hands with the same expression of awe and stance at whatever was so interesting on. I leaned casually on he door frame, crossing my arms over my chest and leaned my foot on the wall.

They both mumbled something in agreement and ate obvious to my presence in the room. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips from watching how serious they both seemed. This caught Edward's attention.

He turned to look at me with a goofy grin playing on his lips. I walked further into the room, standing behind my two boys, ruffling Masen's hair and kissing Edward's cheek.

"How's it going guys?" I asked while I walked toward the kitchen to make some coffee.

"We are watching power rangers mommy. Daddy agrees that the yellow ranger sucks." Masen said in a serious tone.

"Masen what did I tell you about saying that?" I warned

"Sorry mom, I mean he is not very good." He gave me a toothy grin and went back to his cereal.

Edward picked up his bowl and enter the kitchen, cleaning the bowl out placing it in the dish drainer.

"How are you this morning?" I turned to face him

"I'm better, thanks. Listen Bella, there is something I need to tell you"

Just those words alone made all the nerve endings in my body stand on edge. Sentences that start like that are never good.

"What is it?" I barely whispered, feeling the slight pain of him rejecting me

"I wasn't at the studio when I texted you. My mom was the one who had called me. She found out yesterday that she as breast cancer." His eyes began to brim with tears

"Oh Edward." I reached forward to hold him.

I know it was wrong, but the relief I felt when he said it was instant. It had nothing to do with me, that I was thankful, but poor Esme, what terrible news.

"How bad is it?" I whispered into his chest

"She won't tell me. I'm going to flight out there tonight." He held my face in his hands

"I want you and Masen to come with me, I don't think I can do this alone." His tears fell down his cheeks.

"There is no other place I would rather be." I smiled and we kissed

So it was later that day and we were on a 5:50pm flight to Seattle from Miami. Masen was completely engrossed in his game boy while Edward looked utterly distressed. I took his hand and gave it a tight squeeze, trying to reassure the man I love I was here.

The fluight was quiet and we landed it was late. Carlisle met us at the airport and the drive to Forks was a very uncomfortable one. Carlisle spoke mostly to Masen the first hour before he fell asleep. Then in hushed voices Edward asked Carlisle a million medical questions.

I had no idea how much medical stuff Edward really knew. I guess it makes a lot of sense when your father is a doctor, it was definitely a turn on, but in this crazy situation, I tried to block that out. We finally made it to the Cullen's house and Edward carried Masen to the room Esme as made for him.

It was completely cars theme, I loved it. I went to settle in the room I would be staying in so Edward could spend some alone time with his parents. I placed my clothes in the drawers and decided to take a hot shower after my long flight.

Has I began to rub the shampoo in my hair I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist. I grasped and turned my head to see Edward with small droplets of water running down his chin. I never heard him even come in.

He spun me around and picked me up, pushing my back against the wall opposite of the shower spray. He kissed me so forcefully and possessively that I couldn't help, but push right back at him. This egged him long further.

His hands were everywhere at once. My hips, my breasts, my hair. He was everywhere. I dug my fingers into his wet skin of his fleshy back and he groaned into my mouth.

"Do you know how bad I want you right now." He roared into my ear, as he nibbled on the lobe.

"Oh god." I whimpered back, forcing my pelvis to rub against his growing erection.

"You felt so good, so perfect on that elevator yesterday. I wanted to take you again last night when I came over, but I didn't want to disturb our son." His voice so seductive in my ear

"What if your parents hear us?" My breathing uncontrolled

"Then they will hear, but I know it will make them happy to know we are together." He kissed me hard

"Take me Edward." I whispered between kisses

That was all the permission he needed. He glided into me with one quick solid thrust. The connection was unbelievable. His dick felt like it was made only for my womb, molded perfectly for me. He instantly hit the right spots, groaning when he knew he was making me come undone.

"How many nights I fantasized about how good you would feel. The reality is incomparable." His eyes blazed into mine.

I could say nothing, but wanted to say so much. How I loved him, wanted him, needed him. But I think our bodies were explaining that fact. We belonged together, like this, always.

"I love you Edward." I screamed as I felt the tightening in my stomach

"I love you so much Bella." He moaned as his teeth bit into my shoulder blade.

We both exploded with pleasure at the same time. The high of the orgasm left us attached in the middle for a few minutes, before Edward glided me gentle to the floor. Without words we washed up and went to bed.

His arms encircled me all night, giving me a warm comforting feeling. This man loved me, I loved him. But I knew we still had things to talk about.

The next couple of weeks were hectic. Edward took a leave of absence from the band so he could spend time with his parents. The second week was the hardest. I think that's when it really set in for Esme she had cancer.

The doctors put her on chemo right away, not wasting any time. They wanted to give her the best chances. Lucky for her she was only in stage one , but it still didn't means she was out of the woods yet. She needed about 8 weeks worth of treatments before they could access if she would lose her breast or not. That concerned her the most.

I never took Esme for a vain woman, she never acted it a day in her life. But it turns out we all have some type of beauty image we need to keep up with. Edward had taken Masen to the park while I stayed home with Esme. We were sitting around the porch outside, seeming it was a lovely day out.

We both sat staring at the small lake behind the Cullen's home, not really watching anything in particular. Esme was reading an old book, while I just enjoyed the quiet.

"If I knew having cancer would have brought you two together, I would have had it years ago." Esme laughed

My head spun to look at her, surely my expression one of mortification.

"Oh don't look at me like that, its a joke." Esme sighed looking at me

"I don't really know what to say." A heaviness filling me

"Bella you bring Edward so much joy. I haven't seen him so happy in so long. Just don't hurt him anymore." Esme patted my hand and stood and walked into the house.

I stared out at the water for a little while longer before I decided to meet my boys at the park. When I arrived I could see Edward pushing Masen on the swings. Edward saw me approaching and pulled the swing to slow it down and pointed to me so Masen could see.

He waved and I waved back as he jumped off the swing and went running for the slide. Edward walked to me with a beautiful smile on his face.

"Is everything okay?" He asked as he got closer

"Everything is fine, I just wanted to check on you guys. Esme insisted I leave the house. I think she is getting annoyed with being babysat." I chuckled

"I doubt that, she loves having you here." His smile was so nice to see

"She loves having us here. I thought we could go to Port Angeles, just you and me for dinner." I bit my lip waiting for his reply

"Well that could be arranged, why is Forks making you stir crazy?" He smirked

"There's a lot we need to talk about that we been putting off, I figure we have had enough distractions." I shrugged

"Awe yes, the inevitable talk." He hummed

We stayed in the park for a little longer until I could feel the air begin to shift. We headed back to the house and changed clothes.

The drive to Port Angeles was quiet filled with an uncertainty. We pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant called the West End that our parents used to take us to when we had a birthday or good grades.

"I didn't even think this place still existed." I laughed to myself

"You make yourself sound so old when you put it like that." Edward chuckled

"I feel that way sometimes. All that we have been through." I shook m y head

"Let's go inside." Edward quickly got out the car and opened my door

I thanked him for holding the door for me and we made our way to the front. An older gentlemen greeted us at the door and directed us to our seats. The place was small, but fancy looking with its dark oak interior and red table clothes.

He handed us our menus and said our waiter would be over soon. I opened the menu and scanned it, knowing what I already wanted. A young boy came walking up to our table, obviously he was the waiter, dressed in a white shirt with a black bow tie.

"My name is Seth and I will be your waiter this evening, can I start you guys off with our house wine?" Seth said robotically

"Sure, Edward?" I asked looking at him.

"Yea, that will be fine." He smiled tightly at the kid

"Whoa, I recognize you, your Edward Cullen! Holly shit I'm waiting on Edward Cullen!" It was the most enthusiastic the kid sounded since he approached the table.

"Can you keep it down, I don't really want to draw attention to myself." Edward asked as polite as he could

"Oh sure man, I'm so sorry. I am just your biggest fan ever. I have all your stuff, your legend!" Seth beamed

"Thanks I really appreciate that a lot." Edward nodded

"Can I have your autograph?" Seth looked hi age then, so young and care free

"Sure." Edward smiled and Seth nearly jumped up and down.

He handed Edward a piece of paper and a pen. Edward scribbled something and handed it back to him. Seth read it in adoration and took down our orders.

During dinner we made small talking, but I knew it had to lead else where or there was no point in us being here. So I got the courage up to start.

"So what exactly are we doing? I mean I realize we came back for your mom, but really Edward, what is happening with us?" I blurted out,m taking a quick sip of my wine.

He looked at me with those intense green eyes. He placed the spoon he had been fiddling with for the last five minutes back on the table and leaned forward. His face displayed no type of emotion I could read.

"I been thinking about this conversation over and over in my head. Can we not have it here? I don't want people to recognize me again. Can we go for a walk?"

"sure." I nodded and we got up.

Edward paid the bill and we headed down the road. Toward the pier. We walked in silence as I watched Edward rub his hands over his face. Finally I walked toward the pier and looked out at the water. He stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I felt my body relax and instinctively I leaned into him. I heard his deep intake of air and he kissed the top of my head.

'I love you more than you will ever know. The time we have spent here, together, its everything. I've got to really know you. The past is the past, but it hurts. All I can do is be thankful that we have right now. I have you and I have Masen." He squeezed me tightly to his body.

I rubbed my arms over his and just enjoyed the moment before he spoke again.

"I just want to do this properly. Date for a while and work from there. I know that sounds so stupid since we already have a kid, but I want a real opportunity to be the man I wish I could have been for you all these years." He held my face in his hands and kissed me softly on the lips.

I pulled away to look at him. His eyes were bright with love for me, I knew that for sure now. I smiled at him, running my hands through his hair.

"That sounds perfect." I hugged him tightly.

**I'm sorry it so short, but I'm back to have health problems again and the pain in like terrible. Let me know what you think...**


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